8 years on

dear readers

My million apologies for failing to update this blog in the past 3 years. Some of you have wondered if I'm still alive, and I don't blame you. Yes, I assure you that I'm still very much alive by God's grace ...... and you will hear from me soon.

Thank you to those who have read this blog & written to me. I have promised you that I would be updating this blog soon and I will. 

If you have recently been diagnosed with nose cancer, my heart & prayers are with you. I hope you will find this blog and my 2 other related blogs helpful as you begin your journey with nose cancer. Do write & I will respond.

Your fellow NPC or nose cancer survivor,
sockkim / shuqin / kim

(you may call me by any of these names)

farewell papa

It was Monday 26 Dec 2011, 11.40am.

I was on my way back to Singapore. The express coach had turned into the North-South Highway from Ayer Hitam. For the last one hour, I had tried to engage my mind on a game of “sudoku” on my iphone but I simply could not concentrate. My mind kept playing back the events of the last few days while my curious eyes were fixated on a fly which I noticed had been “walking” on the window pane since I boarded the coach an hour ago. I would have normally tried to shoo away or kill a fly if it dared to come near me, but this particular fly was rather strange. It did not disturb me, so I decided to leave it alone.

Just then, my phone rang & I jumped. It was my eldest brother. I froze & my heart began to beat faster. My intuition told me he was bringing me bad news.

“You have to come home again. Dad had just passed away,” my eldest brother said in Hokkien. I replied with a brief “Ok” as my throat suddenly became choked. Tears gradually welled up in my eyes. I glanced at the window pane. The fly had mysteriously disappeared.

My last conversation with papa (16-18 Dec 2011)

I travelled home to Batu Pahat on 16 Dec when I received news that papa was very sick. Papa had been diagnosed with pneumonia. When I first saw papa in the hospital, I had a shock. I almost couldn’t recognise papa. He had lost so much weight. He was all skin & bones. He looked so frail. I tried to hold back my tears. I had never seen papa like this before. Papa had never been seriously ill in all his 82 years. My heart pained to see him in this condition.

I spoke into papa’s ears as he was hard of hearing. I said in Hokkien, “Pa, I’m xxxxx (my pet name). I’ve come back to see you.” Papa looked at me & waved his hand (a sign that he had heard me). Papa had lost his voice. He mumbled some words but mum & I could not figure out what he was saying. I guessed he was trying to say, “I’m happy you’re back!”

On the morning of Sunday 18 Dec 2011, the doctor and nurse came to check on papa. Papa's extremely low blood pressure was of grave concern. Mum asked if papa would recover. I explained dad's condition to mum & told her she had to be mentally prepared.

Mum is a strong woman & a devoted wife. She & papa had been married for 60 years. She tube-fed, washed & cleaned papa everyday without a word of complaint or murmuring despite the heavy toll on her aged body. I also saw mum standing by papa's bedside talking, praying & singing hymns to papa now & then. Mum was truly papa's Godsend angel. We depended on mum to take care of papa. And she was papa's pillar of strength till his last breath.

I walked over to papa's bedside to talk to papa. Words began to flow out from my heart. It turned out to be an unplanned farewell speech to papa. All the while I was talking to papa, I could see that he was responding to me with his eyes wide open as he listened intently to every word I said. It was the first time in my life I spoke with such heartfelt emotions to papa. And I was glad I did. Because I could see that he was visibly moved.

In a mixture of Hokkien & Mandarin, I said, “Pa, thank you for bringing me up. Thank you for giving me an English education without which I would never have been able to go to UK to further my studies." (note : I am the only English-educated “ang-moh” in my family of eight siblings)

Holding back tears, I continued, “Pa, if Jesus comes to bring you home to heaven, please follow Jesus with joy and peace. Don’t worry about us here. I assure you that we know how to take care of your home --- we know how to lock the gate & doors at night, we know how to make sure there is enough water in the house for you have taught us to do all these things (note : papa had been doing these chores all his life; it was his way of caring for the family. Water rationing happens frequently in my hometown and papa always made sure we had enough water to drink & bathe). Don’t worry about mum. I will take good care of mum. I will take good care of this family.”

“Pa, if our Lord Jesus says to you ‘Come home’, please go home with Jesus. Don’t be afraid. Jesus has prepared for you a house in heaven. And you will not be alone in heaven. Ah Ma, Bi-xia (my second sister), Li-chek (papa's brother), they are all in heaven. You will get to see them in heaven. Of course we will all miss you. But we will see you in heaven one day.”

“Pa, I’m taking the 1.30pm coach back to Singapore later. Next Sunday is Christmas Day. I promise I will come back again to see you, to celebrate Christmas with you. Please wait for me. But if you can’t wait, pa, then we'll meet again in heaven.”

At this point, I saw tears streaming down papa’s face. I called for mum & said, “Mummy, papa is shedding tears!” Mum quickly came to dad’s side to wipe away his tears. Mum & I were both fighting back our own tears too. I was very surprised by papa’s response. It was the first time in my life I saw papa shedding tears. And I didn’t know it was to be my last conversation with papa.

My last Christmas with papa (24-26 Dec 2011)
I came back again to see papa on 24 Dec 2011. I reached Batu Pahat after 7pm due to heavy traffic jam at the Second Link. Papa had been discharged from hospital & was recuperating at home. The minute I reached home, I went to papa’s bedside to let him know I was home. I told him that it was the Lord Jesus’ birthday tomorrow. As usual, he waved to show he had heard me.

My two good friends, Elder Lim Aik Leong and Mary Teo, dropped by to visit me a while later. Before the clock struck midnight, we walked to papa’s bedside to sing him a carol. As we started singing “Silent Night, Holy Night” in English, mum and my eldest brother came to join us (the rest of the family was in church for the Christmas service). After we finished singing, Mary told me later that she saw tears coming down papa’s face (I could not see from where I was standing). Elder Lim ended with a prayer. I did not know that was to be my last Christmas with papa.

My last day with papa (26 Dec 2011)
The morning after Christmas Day, papa was coughing quite badly the whole morning. I was taking the 10.30am coach back to Singapore as all afternoon tickets had been sold out. Although I felt reluctant to leave papa like this, I don’t understand why I still left for Singapore that morning. On hindsight, I thought I should have stayed put. Maybe God sent me back to Singapore as He did not want me to see papa pass away. God knew I would not be able to take it well.

So while I was on my way back to Singapore on the morning of 26 Dec 2011, God took papa home at 11.30am. And I returned to Batu Pahat again that same night. Papa’s funeral was held at Saving Grace Church in Batu Pahat on 29 Dec 2011. Papa is now resting in peace at the Batu Pahat Christian cemetery.

Lord, thank You for enabling me to be with papa in his last few days on earth.

Farewell papa ....... we will miss you dearly till we meet again.

from : mum, your beloved children & grandchildren


note : PLEASE PROCEED TO READ THE EULOGY BELOW.

eulogy

(My youngest sister, Shuli, delivered the eulogy in Mandarin at papa’s funeral service on 29 Dec 2011. Here is the translated English version. The Chinese version is below.)

Papa’s early years
Papa was born on 17 Oct 1929 in Sri Medan, a small village on the outskirts of Batu Pahat. My grandparents had migrated to Malaya from Fujian’s Nan-An county in China. Papa was the eldest son. He had one brother & three sisters. Papa’s father died of a critical illness when papa was only twelve years old. After my grandfather’s death, life became hard for the family and my grandmother decided to move the family from Sri Medan to Batu Pahat in search of a better life.

Papa completed only four years of primary education in a Chinese school. After my grandfather died, papa had to stop schooling to support the family. He worked as an apprentice in “Bie-You-Tian” restaurant. At the age of 15, the chef noticed papa's interest in cooking & promoted papa to be his assistant. Five years later, at the age of 20, papa became the restaurant's chef. Papa worked a total of 29 years at “Bie-You-Tian” restaurant.

Papa married mum in 1951. They have 3 sons, 5 daughters and 8 grandchildren.

Papa’s work
In 1970, papa left the employment of “Bie-You-Tian” restaurant & ventured into business with a few friends. They opened a new restaurant called “Xi-Li-Men” and papa worked as the chef. In 1983, papa & his business partners opened a second restaurant called “Suan-Xi-Lou”. A few years later, a third restaurant called “Jin-Xi-Lou” was added to the stable of restaurants. Because of his meticulous & honest character, papa was put in charge of the restaurant’s daily takings & accounts. At age 70, papa finally called it a day & retired from work. After having worked for some 58 years, papa felt it was time to spend his golden years at home with his family.

Papa’s character
Papa was a good & responsible father. He was a man of few words. He was a homely person and showed his love for us in his own quiet ways.

Papa was always concerned for our safety. When we returned to KL or Singapore, papa would always call us to make sure we had reached home safely. And when papa knew we were coming back to Batu Pahat, he would always wait up for us no matter how late it was. Papa was always the last person to retire for the night as he would make his rounds around the house, making sure the gate & doors were locked and everyone was safe and sound.

Because of his humble beginnings, papa was a very thrifty man. Papa worked hard for the family & spent his hard-earned money to meet the needs of the family. He had never spent a single cent on himself. Papa was very independent & preferred to go around town on his humble bicycle rather than to be driven. Papa cycled to work, to church, to the bank, to pay the utility & telecom bills, to everywhere. Papa & his mini-bike were a familiar sight in Batu Pahat. It was only in the later part of his life, when papa’s legs became weaker, that papa had to reluctantly give up his bicycle and passed on his day-to-day responsibilities to us.

Papa’s salvation
After my second sister, Bi-xia, died of cancer in 1988, papa & mum both received the Lord Jesus as their personal Saviour and Lord. My parents were baptised in 1989. Praise the Lord that by 1992, our whole family became Christians, including my then 89-year-old Ah Ma. Ah Ma went home to the Lord in 1997, at a ripe old age of 93.

Papa’s last Christmas
On Christmas Eve this year, my third sister’s friends, Elder Aik Leong & Teo Tiam, came to my home to celebrate Christmas with papa. Together with mum & my elder brother, they sang “Silent Night, Holy Night” to papa. Papa was so touched that tears streamed down his face. We did not know that was to be papa’s last Christmas with us.

I would like to end with a letter that papa left behind for us.

Letter from Papa

My dear beloved,

I see countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, be happy for me, the ones I hold so dear,
For I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,
For it’s beyond description hearing the angels sing.

I’m sending you special gifts from my Heavenly Father above :
I send you each fond memories, and my undying love.
Love is the gift more precious than pure gold;
It was the most important theme in the stories Jesus told.

I know how much you miss me. I feel the pain inside your heart,
But I’m not so very far away. We really aren’t apart.
Don’t weep for me, dear ones, for I’m happy here.
See, Jesus invited me to Heaven for Christmastime this year.

Please love each other dearly, as our Heavenly Father says to do,
For there’s no other way to count the blessigs that He has in store for you.
So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away your tears.
Be glad for me ……. because I’m with Jesus Christ this year!

from,
your dear papa
25 Dec 2011


________________________________________________________________________

家父張明亮的生平述史

家父張明亮弟兄，祖藉福建省南安縣，1929年10月17日生於柔佛州鐵山 (Sri Medan)。當他十二歲時，父親因重病離開他。因日本時期戰爭之故，與母親及弟妹遷居峇株吧轄。於1951年，與林氏家二女兒林連珠結為夫妻，育有三男五女。

他的工作
曾在Sri Medan華小受四年的教育。於1941年，十二歲那年在 “別有天餐廳” 當學徒，賺取生活費來養活家人。因他的好學精神，十五歲時就當了廚師助手。於1970年，二十歲就當 “別有天餐廳” 當主廚。他在 “別有天餐廳” 共做了29年之久。1970年，與一些朋友們合作開了 “喜臨門餐廳”。十多年後，1983年，又與一些朋友合股開了一間 “雙禧樓”。因他的誠實見證，他當了 “雙禧樓”的財政職位。又經過數年之後，又跟同樣的股東開了另一間 “金禧樓”。於70歲，正式退休，在家享福，與孫子們同樂，直到2011年6月左右，他的身體逐漸虛弱，直到安返天家。

他的格性
他是一位很顧家，文靜，細心的一位好父親。在廚房，幫忙料理家務事，並關心家裡的大小事。他很關心兒女們的出入平安，如：當兒女們回去新加坡之後，他總是三番四次的打電話Call我們：『你們抵達了沒有？高速公路有沒有塞車等等？』然後，他的心就放下，他是一位很負責任的好父親。因此，當兒女的我們，我們常有一個習慣，就是每當我們回到自己的住處時，我們作兒女的也會自動的打電話回家給父親抱平安，免得他擔心。這就是他對兒女所表達的愛。

從年輕到老，他非常誠實與節儉，把省下來的錢，用在兒女們的教育及需要上。從年輕到老，他常騎腳踏車出入工作。從年輕到老，不論還水電費，或去銀行，都由他一人去負責，直到退休為止。

他的得救
於1988年，當二姐佩霞安息後，我爸爸媽媽信了主。一年後，我父親於1989年受洗歸入主耶穌的名下，於1992年全家歸主。感謝主，他89歲的母親後來也信了主，並一年後，她受了洗。 1997年安息主懷。

他最後的聖誕節
最後，於今年12/24晚上，三姐與二位好朋友(媽媽與大哥，Elder Aik Leong & Teo Tiam) 在半夜在我們父親面前 “報佳音” 唱 “平安夜” ，父親聽了流下眼淚，最後，Aik Leong 長老為他作一個禱告。我們也想不到，這是我父親最後一次過聖誕節。

～謝謝～

這是來自我父親的一封信

致我所親愛的家人，

我在天上看下來，
看見許多聖誕樹閃閃發亮，
好漂亮哦，今年我跟耶穌過聖誕節，
親愛的，您們要為我高興。

我在天上也聽到，
你們唱很多聖誕詩歌，
可是你們的聲音比不上天上的聖誕詩班的歌聲,
天使的歌聲好聽到無法形容。

我在天上寄給你很特別的禮物，
我送給你最好的回憶和我不死的愛，
愛的禮物大過一切的精金，
這是耶穌曾在地上常教導我們 ~ 愛的真理。

我知道你們多麼想念我，我可以感覺到你們心裡的痛，
可是我與你們不遠，親愛的，你們不要為我而哭，
因為我在這裡很開心，
你看，耶穌邀請我到天堂與祂一起慶祝今年的聖誕節，

親愛的，你們應當彼此相愛，這是天父所說的，
因為神有很多恩典與祝福，要賜給你們，
所以，你們要過一個沒有眼淚的聖誕節，
你們要為我高興，因為我現在與耶穌同在。

親愛的父親 親筆
2011.12.25

an update ...... 3 years on

More than 3 years have passed since that fateful day. My journey with nose cancer has been an unforgettable experience and I'm thankful to God for walking with me through "the valley of the shadow of death".

The recent CT scan taken in March 2010 showed no new tumours or signs of cancer. This is the 1st time in 3 years I have received an overall "all-clear" report. I'm thankful to God for the good results.

Here's a brief chronology of my cancer journey :
2006 - diagnosed with Stage 2 NPC (nose cancer), underwent radiotherapy
2007 - CT scan picked up tiny nodules on right lung, metastasis suspected
2008 - underwent lung resection (keyhole surgery) to remove 3 cancerous nodules
2010 - CT scan showed no tumour on lungs & other parts of body

"I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify Your name forever.
For great is Your love toward me;
You have delivered me from the depths of the grave."
(Psalm 86:12-13)

eternally grateful to our eternal God,
sockkim

living each day by God's grace

A bear, a lion and a pig meet.

Bear says : "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest shivers with fear!"

Lion says : "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me!"

Pig says : "Big deal .... I only have to cough, and the entire planet lives in fear!"

Humorous but true. The pig or swine, regarded as the most unclean of all animals, has instilled fear around the world. It has affected the way we carry out our daily activities.

I have two follow-up consultations at the National Cancer Centre this week. One of the appointments was postponed from May to July because of MOH's orange alert for H1N1. Non-emergency cases were moved to a later date to reduce the number of patients coming to NCC each day as cancer patients were believed to be more vulnerable to the H1N1 virus.

The atmosphere at the National Cancer Centre is now very different from before. The clinics are quieter & less crowded as there are less patients & visitors. This translates into shorter queue & faster service. How nice! Everyone is also required to wear a mask. You need to be able to recognise people by their eyes or voices. How fascinating!

So how do I fare this time? All the test results are normal. My lung is my main concern, so the good x-ray result is comforting and reassuring. Medical tests & results do not only tell me where I am but they also indicate to me if I am on track.

Life after cancer brings many new challenges. One common question cancer survivors often ask, "Is there anything I should do to keep cancer from coming back?" In my case, what should I do to prevent cancer from returning to my nose or lung or spreading to other parts of the body? Doctors do not have the answer. So I look for my own answer.

Qigong exercise is one new activity I have picked up. Qigong is said to be a good exercise for cancer survivors as it helps to improve blood circulation & strengthen the immune system against diseases such as cancer. Qigong works on the premise that cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Qigong uses deep diaphragmatic breathing method which is the proper & healthy way of breathing. I never knew there is a correct way of breathing. And I never knew I had not been breathing correctly all my life.

So now I take lessons once a week & make it a daily discipline to practise qigong every morning. Will qigong help to keep my cancer in check? I hope so. If I don't try, I won't know. And even if it doesn't work, it doesn't matter; at least I get to enjoy the exercise. I will do whatever I can possibly do to keep my body & lungs strong & healthy. I will leave to God to do the impossible for only God can.

I'm thankful that each day is a gift of grace from God,
sockkim

goodbye to cancer?

It has been more than 2 months since my lung operation in Dec 2008. What's the latest?

The PET scan I did on Monday has given me an "all-clear" sign, at least for now. The PET scan report, which I collected yesterday, made this conclusion : "No new metastases are seen; no evidence of local recurrence." What this means is there is no sign of cancer in my nose, lungs or other parts of the body. This is indeed good news. Thank You, Lord.

To the uninitiated, PET (Positron Emission Tomography) scan is a diagnostic imaging technique that can help detect suspected cancer, show the effectiveness of cancer treatment & check for recurrence of cancer. But PET scan is not always 100% reliable in detecting cancer. There could be false positives or false negatives. (That was what happened last year when PET scan failed to pick up cancer in my right lung.) Because PET scan is rather expensive (SGH charges $2700 & there is no govt subsidy), doctors usually recommend it only if it is really necessary.

Back to my story ...... so, can I say goodbye to cancer? Is there undetected cancer in my body? Will cancer return? Have I been cured of cancer? No one knows, except God. The only guaranteed assurance I have is that my life is eternally secure in God.

What's next? My oncologist says there is no need for chemotherapy treatment but he will need to monitor me closely. The 1st 5-years are crucial for cancer survivors. I'm now in the half-way mark. According to my surgeon, 20%-30% of patients with metastatic NPC to the lung will not suffer a relapse. Past statistics showed that 70%-80% of patients might suffer a relapse. Statistic is only a number. Whichever side of the statistics I'm on, I know that God is on my side. And God is all I need.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you."
(Psalm 116:7)

thanks for being a part of my life these 2-over years,
sockkim

xin nian meng en!

Happy New Year to you!

Yes, I'm back. I had a wonderful time in Batu Pahat catching up with family & friends. But I'm happy to be back in Singapore too ..... because I cannot stand the water & mosquitoes there! The water in BP has a horrible taste and the mosquitoes are attracted to me. I must say that Singapore has spoilt me with its clean water & clean environment.

I terminated my global roaming service last year as I seldom travel out of Singapore. As a result, I received your sms-es only after I arrived in Singapore on Wed. For 7 years, I had paid $5 pm for something I hardly use. Isn't that silly?

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace
as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

here's wishing you a fruitful year,
tsk tsk

balik kampung for CNY

Today I "balik kampung" to Batu Pahat for Chinese New Year. Each year might be my last new year so I will make an effort to go back to my hometown to have reunion dinner with my parents & siblings. One month after my recent lung surgery, I think I should be fit to travel the 3-hour journey by road.

Xin Nian Meng En!
tsk tsk

cancer recurrence? yes, cancer has spread to my lung

This is the news everyone has been waiting for.....the biopsy results.

Backgound : 3 nodules in right lung were removed on 22 Dec 2008

Bad news : metastatic NPC to lung ("metastatic" means cancer has spread to a region remote from its site of origin. In my case, it means cancer has spread to my right lung from its site of origin, the nose. This is not the same as primary lung cancer. Metastatic cancer is also called secondary cancer.)

Good news : the cancerous nodules have been taken out

Treatment : since the cancerous tumour has been removed, chemotherapy might not be necessary. I will have a better picture when I next see my oncologist in Feb.

Chances of cancer recurrence : there is a chance cancer might return in 70%-80% of cases.

Prayer : praise the Lord the cancerous tumour has been removed. Please pray that I will fall within the 20%-30% , that by the mercy & grace of God cancer will not recur.

"I love the Lord for He heard my voice;
He heard my cry for mercy.
Because He turned His ear to me,
I will call on Him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble & sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord :
"Oh Lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious & righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, He saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you."

(Psalm 116:1-7)

Thank You, Lord for You are so good to me.
Thank you, dear brothers & sisters, for praying.
The journey has not ended. Please uphold me in your prayers.

tsk tsk

happy birthday, tsk

According to western tradition, there are 12 days of Christmas. Jesus was born on the 1st day of Christmas - 25 Dec. I was born on the 12th day of Christmas - 5 Jan. Yes, today is my birthday.

Friends know that I do not like to celebrate birthdays. Just an sms or card will do. I prefer to spend a quiet day with the Lord.

But today, I received some surprises. Yesterday night, a friend brought me a small cake & flowers. Today, 2 friends came to share some brief moments with me. Another friend sent a basket of flowers & gifts by delivery. Some sent greeting cards & sms messages. To all who have remembered the day of my humble birth, I say "Thank You."

Tomorrow is D-Day. It's the day I receive the biopsy results. I hope for the best but am prepared for the worst. On this night before D-Day, I am filled with God's peace & presence as I submit myself to God's sovereign will.

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
for to You I lift up my soul.
Teach me to do Your will.
for You are my God."
(Psalm 143:8,10)

Lord, into Your hands I commit my life,
tsk tsk

thank You, Lord

About 25 people turned up at the Thanksgiving Open House today. Thank you for coming to celebrate God's goodness with me. Your presence & prayers were a great encouragement to me.

To those who couldn't come but had sent their well wishes via call, sms or email, thank you. Thank you, Ai Fong, for initiating this Thanksgiving Open House. Thanks also to those who had cooked or bought food. Each one of you had brought cheer to my heart. Thank you for spending the last day of the year with me. Thank you for leaving behind such sweet memories.

Thank You, Lord for 2008 -- for joy & sorrow, for roses & thorns, for sunshine & rain, for calm & storms, for mountains & valleys, for laughter & tears, for pleasure & pain, for hope & despair, for health & sickness, for peace & turmoil, for comfort & grief. Thank You, Lord for Your strength & grace to live each day.

You can view some photos under the heading, "Thanksgiving Dec 2008" on the side column.

"(We) will celebrate Your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of Your righteousness."
(Psalm 145:7)

thank you for journeying along with me this past year,
tsk tsk

God's food angels

Before my surgery, some friends asked me out of concern. "You live alone, who is going to look after you when you are discharged? What about your meals, who is going to cook for you?" My reply was, "God will provide." And God did.

I know that God will provide. God had provided in the past. This time, God will provide again. I did not make any arrangements for post-surgery care. I did not inform my family in Malaysia about my surgery. I did not wish to cause them unnecessary anxiety or worry. My family does not read my blog as they are all Chinese-educated. Only my elder sister in Singapore & my younger sister in Taipei are aware of my condition.

My job is to rest well & trust my Heavenly Father to provide. My Father's job is to provide all my needs, just as He has promised in Matthew 6:25-34. And He has.

On the day I was discharged, Ai Min offered me her ensuite room with maid services to help me recuperate until I was well enough to look after myself. I was overwhelmed by her love. But I declined her kind offer.

From the day I was discharged, the Lord began to send His food angels. Each day, someone will volunteer to bring me home-cooked food for lunch or dinner. Some brought me groceries or brewed health tonics. Only the Lord could mobilise these food angels to minister to my needs. I am truly touched by their love in action. I feel so blessed to belong to the family of God.

Lord, You are my Jehovah-Jireh. Thank You for providing all my needs.

tsk tsk

open house on 31 Dec 2008

Dear brothers & sisters in Christ

I underwent lung surgery on Mon 22 Dec 2008 to remove some nodules on my right lung. I was discharged on Fri 26 Dec 2008 after 5 days in the hospital. The operation was successful & I am recovering well. All praise & glory be to our God Almighty.

I would like to thank each one of you for standing by me & praying alongside me in my journey through cancer. Some of you had wanted to visit me when I was warded but I had to post a “No Visit” request on my blog in the first 3 days as I was too weak to receive visitors. I was in great pain & discomfort. But I received a Christmas gift from the Lord when my condition improved by leaps & bounds on Christmas Day. Those of you who visited me on Christmas Day were surprised at my quick recovery. Again, all praise & glory be to God.

My BSF Teaching Leader, Yang Ai Fong, suggested holding an Open House at my residence on Wed 31 Dec 2008 from 1pm to 4pm. The purpose of this Open House is to give thanks to God. This Open House will also allow those who had wanted to visit me at the hospital but could not. I understand that some of you had actually planned or gone to visit me at SGH Ward 56 on Sunday thinking that I was still warded!

Open House means free-and-easy, you may come & go as you wish. Some simple food & drinks will be provided. Ai Fong had graciously volunteered to bake a turkey, to make up for my spending Christmas in the hospital!

I would like to invite you to this Open House. This Open House is open to anyone who would like to visit me. I will post this invitation on my blog too as I do not have everyone’s email addresses. RSVP is not required.

Here are the details of the Open House :

Date : Wed 31 Dec 2008
Time : 1pm – 4pm
Venue : Hillview Regency (please sms for full address)
Request : please DO NOT bring any gifts as there is no more space in my small humble apartment.

(If you are driving, you will be directed by the security guards to park on Level 4 & above at the multi-storey carpark. Ground-level parking is for residents only. Take the carpark lift to the ground floor, the first tower you see is Tower 1A.)

thank you for walking with me through this journey,
sockkim

a word of thanks to PS

Hi everyone, this is tsk. I am back.

I was discharged on Friday, 26 Dec 2008 after 5 days in the hospital. I am happy to be home. I am thankful to the Lord for all that He has done.

While I was hospitalised, PS had worked hard to keep this blog going so you could keep praying for me. "A friend in need is a friend indeed." "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov 18:24b) - these aptly describe my dear friend PS.

At the hospital, PS kept a daily vigil at my bedside, praying for me & sharing my pain with silent tears. She was an angel sent by God, always appearing at the right time when I was in a critical state or when I needed company. On the day of my discharge, PS spent the whole day with me at home, cleaned up my apartment, arranged with Ai Fong to deliver my dinner & made sure I was well enough to look after myself before she made her way home. And she is a mother of three.

BTW, it's time to reveal the true identity of PS - her real name is Phaik Sue. The nurses saw her everyday so one day one of them asked if we were sisters. PS replied, "We have the same Father but we are not sisters." Yes, we are sisters-in-Christ. PS hailed from Melaka, I from Batu Pahat but we met in Singapore through BSF. I thank God for BSF. BSF has given me not only spiritual food but a support group of sisters who have rallied around me in my journey through cancer.

PS, thanks for your love & the sacrifices you have made in looking after me in my time of illness. Lord, thank You for bringing PS into my life.

"...... I was sick and you looked after Me .............
whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,
you did for Me." (Matt 25:36, 40)

To all who have prayed & pleaded with the Lord for me, thank you. I know that God has heard all your prayers for I have recovered faster than I had expected.

All praise & glory be to our God.

tsk tsk

Surrender !!!

Help! I give up, I surrender !!!

This tsk is just too much, she is getting out of hand. Maybe her brain fell out of her head. Ask her where her brain is, then you'll know what I mean.

She sent this : Where my turkey? If don hv, ham oso can. If no ham, salmon boleh juga.
She said this : What, no chaffeur!? When AM offered her nice quiet ensuite room and helper, after she gets discharged.

Well, I am very, very happy tsk is her naughty self again. It is hand-over time. I (ps) enjoyed blogging over the past few days, but I have had enough fun. So bye, everyone! Tsk is back!

2 Thes 1:3 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.

Thanks for praying, ps

Thanksgiving

Philippians 1:3 I thank my God every time I remember you.
Philemon 1:4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers.

It is Boxing Day, and we give thanks to God as always.

This morning, tsk had a few visitors, and they are the last ones to visit her.

Please don't come. Tsk is not in SGH anymore, she has run off home. This is just great news for all of us who are supporting her in prayer.

Last evening, tsk thought she would have salmon for special Christmas dinner, when she looked across the other patient's food tray. What a let down, it turned out to be papaya slices in the cling wrap.

Tsk's saliva drooled all the way to AF's house. So this evening, AF brought a wonderful dinner to her home. Porridge, with salmon and vege!

Thanks for praying, ps

Christmas presents

Phil 4:19 My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Tsk received a wonderful present from Dr Koong this morning. First, he sent tsk to get her lung x-ray done. Her lung was clear, so the drainage tube could be removed. Her oxygen and catheter tubes were also removed. No more tubes! So she's free to move about already. She may even be discharged tomorrow.

Tsk also received a record twenty visitors today. They brought much encouragement, smiles, laughter, carols, gifts and even turkey porridge! But for that, she had to sacrifice her beauty sleep.

After talking, practically non-stop to her visitors, tsk was still not tired. Oh dear! She even had the strength to take a nice, warm bath. And all by herself! After that, she still had the energy to solve sudoku puzzles!

The power of prayer! When we worship the Lord by praying to Him, glorifying Him, witnessing for Him and submitting to Him, He works on our behalf. Our dear tsk is recovering extremely well!

Thanks for praying, ps

About key-holes

The nurse changed three dressings yesterday. So tsk thought she had three key-holes.

Well, today, tsk looked for the three key-holes, but found only two. There were three stitches at the back, and six stitches under the arm pit. The third dressing, which she thought was for another key-hole, was actually for the drainage tube.

Yes, all our praying has made tsk sleep well and eat well. She has certainly regained a lot of her strength. So much that she can even go look for her holes.

Thanks for praying, ps

Blessed Christmas!

Have a very blessed Christmas!

Reporting on tsk

Psalm 67:3,5 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
Psalm 69:30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Tsk is definitely improving. We praise God and we give Him thanks!

She has been sleeping well, this is great for quick healing. The IV line has been removed since she can eat better - porridge which comes with some meat and vege. She is out of bed now, she can sit up on the arm chair beside her bed. But she cannot move around yet, because of the tubes. She has a new 'toy' to exercise her lungs.

The nurse changed her dressings today. Apparently, she has three key-holes. Guess where?

Tsk's throat is dry. She cannot talk too much. Be thankful.

Tsk was fore-warned by the doctor. Ocassionally, she does experience PP (piercing pain).

Thanks for praying, ps