Saturday, 8 November 2008
a tearful farewell
The celebration began with a cheery mood but ended with a "teary" goodbye. The master-of-ceremony got everyone's head cracking as she quizzed us on how much we could remember our lessons from Matthew. It was fun as we tried to recall the miracles, parables, beatitudes, Jesus' sayings, His birth, life, crucifixion, burial, resurrection, etc.
The mood in the room turned sombre when it was time for each representative from Admin, Discussion Leaders & Children's Leaders (CLs) to give their farewell speeches. Yours truly was given the honour to represent the CLs. Ai Fong was visibly touched by the speeches. It was a tearful farewell. Not an eye was dry. We presented Ai Fong with a "Memory Book" which was a compilation of "memories" contributed by each leader.
Lord, thank You that Your Word has changed the lives of many through the BSF ministry. I am one such person whose life You have impacted.
tsk tsk
Sunday, 12 October 2008
time out from BSF
These words warmed my heart. God has indeed impacted the life of this boy. Teaching the Senior Level at the BSF school program has been very fulfilling. It is a joy to see young people yearning to know God & hungering for His Word. It is an encouragement to see them growing in the Lord. I am thankful I can be a part of this boy’s spiritual journey with God.
Doing God's work has its share of discouragements too. But our Heavenly Father knows how to handle them. In my 10 years as a BSF leader, God had never failed to send someone to lift me up whenever I had felt like quitting. Last year, God sent a 7-year-old boy to encourage me when I had thought of leaving BSF (see blog entry on 28 Aug 2007).
Yes, I am leaving BSF after 10 long years of service. This is the 3rd time I have asked the Lord for permission to leave. This time He granted my request. I call it my one-year sabbatical but my BSF co-labourers call it a secondment. I need time out from BSF to settle some earthly business before the Lord calls me home. Like the prophet Elijah, I also feel burnt-out & need a personal retreat with God to reflect, to refresh, to rejuvenate. And if God willing, I would like to go back to school not to earn another degree but to equip myself further for God's service.
Nose Cancer Support Group
Another reason for my sabbatical was because I felt the calling to commit one year of my life to serve in the NPC Support Group. NPC-SG is a nose cancer support group under the auspices of the National Cancer Centre (NCC). This support group was set up in 2005 to provide an environment for emotional support & sharing of experiences among NPC patients & survivors. It organises talks & activities to help patients & survivors cope with nose cancer (NPC = nasopharyngeal or nose cancer).
I have been with this support group for the last 2 years. We meet on the 1st Friday of the month at the NCC premises. I believe it's important for cancer survivors to meet other survivors who share the same experiences, walk the same journey & speak the same language. Life after cancer is a totally new experience for every survivor; there are anxieties, challenges & frustrations along the way. The cancer support group is the place to meet similar people who understand what we are going through & remind us that we are not alone.
With the growing membership, the NPC-SG committee has felt the need to set up a website. But this project has been put on hold for 2 years as no suitable person with writing ability could be found. The committee chairman approached me for help as he felt I could contribute in this area. I thought & prayed hard. It took me many months before I said yes. I wasn't sure if I could be fully committed. I will simply take one step at a time, trusting God to lead me to do what He wants me to do.
tsk tsk
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
3 appointments at sgh today
Today, I have 3 appointments at SGH. I don't know if scheduling all 3 appointments on the same day will prove to be a clever idea. I wanted to kill 3 birds in one day, rather than to kill 1 bird each on 3 different days. I will know by the end of the day who gets killed, me or the bird!
11.00am = mammogram + breast ultrasound
1.30pm = National Dental Centre (try new denture)
2.20pm = ENT clinic
Afternoon = Chinatown (to buy herbs)
The results of the mammogram/ultrasound will be known next Fri, 30 May. The breast clinic sees patients only on Fridays. Last year, the ultrasound shows many cysts on my right breast. I pray that it will be better results this time round.
thanks for remembering this poor wretched soul,
tsk tsk
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
I am still alive & kicking
So, tsk tsk, what have you been doing these past 2 months? Good thing I keep a daily journal, so it's not a problem recalling what I did in Feb & Mar.
5 Feb 2008 - Today was the eve of Lunar New Year's Eve. I held a reunion dinner tonight because I would be going home to Batu Pahat tomorrow. My youngest sister, Shuli came back for CNY (she is based in Taiwan). My eldest sister, Shuyun & family joined us for dinner.
6 Feb 2008 - I baked Pandan Kaya cake this morning for my family. Shuli's friend, Mei Yan gave us a lift back to Batu Pahat. We left Singapore at about 4pm. We did not make it in time for reunion dinner as we reached BP past 9pm. There was a heavy traffic jam at the causeway. Mei Yan also had to drop by JB to pick up her brother's family.
7 Feb 2008 - Xin Nian Meng En! Blessed Lunar New Year! My family & I attended the CNY service at Saving Grace Chinese Church. Then we "bai-nian" the whole afternoon, visiting some of my Ah-Yi and Ah-Koh. Time did not permit me to visit more.
8 Feb 2008 - A good "elderly" friend brought me out for lunch. Mum & Shuli joined us too. Without fail, this person would call me on the second day of CNY every year. This was the time of the year she knew for sure I would be home. I went shopping at BP Mall tonight. BP is growing numerically & commercially. BP is now the 10th largest town in Malaysia with a population of about 470,000. Everytime I go back, there will be new shopping malls which are crowded with people. Besides BP Mall, there is also Carrefour hypermarket. Both of these are giant size to the envy of Singapore.
9 Feb 2008 - My 2nd brother drove me & Shuli back to Singapore. Mum came along. They dropped by my eldest sister's place to "bai-nian" before spending the rest of the day at my place.
15 Feb 2008 - Shuli returned to Taiwan this morning. We had a wonderful time of fellowship during the one-week she stayed with me.
16 Feb 2008 - BSF workshop today......this signals the end of the long 4-month break. After today, life is going to get busy, busy, busy again. BSF is doing the book of Matthew. YP & I will be co-teaching the Senior Level class (15-18 years old). This is the 2nd time I am teaching the Senior class. The last time was 2004/2005.
23 Feb 2008 - We had our 1st BSF Leaders' Meeting this morning. In the evening, I went with 2 friends to JB to attend a wedding dinner - Teck Hui & Ley Tin's daughter's wedding. TH & LT are good, old friends from Batu Pahat. Believe it or not, we have not seen each other for almost 30 years. It was a beautiful wedding. The most nostalgic part of the evening was the meeting of former BP folks whom we have not seen for almost 30 years since our Youth Fellowship days in Batu Pahat! For many of us, we couldn't recognise each other! It's obvious we don't look as youthful as our teenage years......but the voice, the mannerisms haven't changed a single bit! There is talk about organising a reunion for all BP folks..........before we all pass on.
7 Mar 2008 - I attended the NPC Support group meeting tonight. The talk was on TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine). This time, the talk would be spread over 2 Fridays. The 2 speakers are TCM physicians from Thong Chai Medical Institution at Chin Swee Road. These 2 physicians specialise in cancer treatment using TCM.
8 Mar 2008 - Today was the 12th General Election in Malaysia. As a Malaysian citizen, I am eligible to vote but I have not gone back to BP to cast my vote for the past 2 or 3 elections. Reason? My vote doesn't make any difference. Why? If you are familiar with Malaysian history, you will know that Batu Pahat is the birthplace of UMNO & therefore a stronghold of UMNO. Politics in BP is very boring because the opposition parties know they have very slim chance of winning here. I stayed up the whole night to watch the results of the election......so shocked with the results I couldn't sleep!
14 Mar 2008 - Attended Part 2 of the talk on TCM at the NPC Support Group meeting.
18 Mar 2008 - Tonight I had to go solo, meaning I had to teach the 2-hour program all by myself as my co-CL was sick. The "spiritual attack" came again. My left ear suffered a sudden blockage when I started my Bible Lesson. The ear blockage also went off suddenly as soon as I finished my 25-min BL. When my ear was blocked, I could not hear myself very clearly so I spoke very loud (this was what CS told me when I shared my experience with her). It happened several times last year too. Strange thing is, my ear would suddenly become blocked when I start the BL. But when I do the other segments (discussion, discovery, closing), I don't experience ear blockage at all. I don't understand. What I know is that each time it happens, I feel very lousy because I can't hear my own voice. But I know that the Holy Spirit will guide my mouth to say the words He wants the students to hear. The amazing thing is I do not need to sip any water during the 2-hour session - not only tonight, but every Tuesday night. This is my experience of God.
This is the end of my daily journal recorded for the months of Feb & Mar. Thanks for reading. Hope you will whisper my name in your prayers each time you read my blog.
praise God I'm still alive & kicking,
tsk tsk
Thursday, 1 November 2007
year-end dinner at Cafe Brio's
Sayonara to the following CLs who will be leaving us : Ruby, Geok Hong, Linda, Evelyn. Adieu, girls.......we are going to miss you.
God be with you till we meet again;
When life’s perils thick confound you;
Put His arms unfailing round you;
God be with you till we meet again.
Till we meet, till we meet,
Till we meet at Jesus’ feet;
Till we meet, till we meet,
God be with you till we meet again.
Till we meet again,
tsk tsk
Saturday, 27 October 2007
what has Romans taught me?
"I praise God for enabling me to complete this year in His strength. It was a difficult year. It was difficult because I was recovering from cancer. It was difficult because I had to learn to manage my physical handicap (dry mouth) & cope with the side effects of cancer (dry/phlegmy throat, blocked ear, stuffed nose, inability to eat). It was difficult because teaching Level 1 kids was a new challenge to me. But in each of these difficult & challenging situations, I had experienced God's enablement & grace. All glory be to God.
I thank God for the many lessons I have learned from the book of Romans. Romans 7 reminds me that the Christian life is a constant struggle but we win through Jesus Christ. Romans 8 assures me that all things that have ever happened to me or can possibly happen to me are so ordered & controlled by God that the end result is inevitably & utterly for my good.
If I can summarise in one sentence what the book of Romans has taught me, it is this : God is sovereign; nothing can defeat God's plan & purpose for me."
Lord, thank You for teaching me Your Word in Romans.
tsk tsk
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
sayonara to bsf 2007.......
Next year, the new BSF term will start on 26 Feb. That is a break of 17 weeks! Wow, that is a cool 4-month break, the longest break in my 13 years in BSF. We will be studying the book of Matthew. This will conclude my second cycle in BSF.
I will need to start planning how to use these 17 weeks fruitfully & productively so that no precious time will be wasted. Time gone is time wasted, never to return.
To all BSF leaders who are still faithfully following this blog, thank you for assuring me I'm still in your thoughts & prayers. To those who are leaving BSF, sayonara & hope to see you again......if not on earth, then in heaven. Hope you will continue to read my blog & drop me an encouraging note now & then to tell me how you are getting on.
Lord, bless all these angels you had sent me in my time of illness.
tsk tsk
Tuesday, 4 September 2007
yeh, it's bsf break this week
It's only one week, so there is not much time to do a lot of things. Last week I had been busy with office meetings & work. Before I knew it, today is already Tues, and what Ruby would say, tomorrow is Wed. This means it's time to get back to the normal routine : complete the adults' questions & prepare the lessons for the children's program.
Okay, okay, time to get back to work (I mean to do all the above).
Lord, thank You for BSF.
tsk tsk
Tuesday, 28 August 2007
encouragement from a little boy
Tonight was such a night. I was stressed out. At the end of the class, while busy clearing the room, one 7-year-old boy walked to me, handed me a card & said shyly, "Miss Teo, this is for you!" I said thank you & shoved the card into my folder as I was in a hurry to go for Tape time. I completely forgot about the card until I reached home that night.
It was a Happy Teachers' Day card. I was so touched by this boy's thoughtfulness. Tears came to my eyes. One out of 12 came to say thank you. That was more than I could ask for. Little did this boy know that his little act brought much encouragement to this worn-out teacher. I was sure it was the Lord who prompted this little angel to do what he did.
Lord, thank You for the encouragement.
tsk tsk
Tuesday, 3 July 2007
back to school
BSF 2nd term begins tonight. This week is Week 17 (15 more to go). I have been a CL (Children's Leader) for 4 years but this year has been the most challenging year for me. This is because, besides having to take the youngest class (aged 7 & 8), I am still struggling with the many side effects of radiation, esp dry mouth.
Many of you might not know that dry mouth not only makes eating a difficult task, but it also makes talking a real struggle. Whenever I talk, I will need to either sip water or spray "Bioteen mouthwash" to wet my mouth because talking dries up my mouth very fast. My mouth often feels like a "desert" after just a few sentences. But the amazing thing is when I teach at the BSF School program, I can talk without sipping water or spraying Bioteen. And when I teach, I will completely forget about my dry mouth. Believe it or not, this happens only during those 2 hours on Tuesday nights. I always have faith that God will never abandon those who are His. I praise God for allowing this handicap in my life so that I can experience His power & presence. Dry mouth has become a "thorn in my flesh" but I thank the Lord His grace is sufficient for me (see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Thursday, 14 June 2007
The diary of tsk
I started writing diaries when I was 14 years old. But I received my first "proper" diary only 2 yeats later on 8 Jun 19xx. This diary was special because it could be locked with a key. It was a gift from my eldest sister to reward me for my good school results. I treasured it very much. It is still with me today. The first words on my first diary were taken from Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (KJV).
I am now on my 6th volume. I keep all my diaries. As I read my old diaries, I can see a change in my writing style. In my teenage years, my diary was written more as a record on the daily events of my life, some of which appeared so funny & silly now. In my university & young adult years, I started each diary entry as "Dear Lord", recording my conversations with God. I still adopt this "conversation with God" style even today. In addition, I use my diary to record my thoughts, my prayers, my feelings, my reflections. My diary is the best place to know the real me because I write as I am, no pretenses. But sorry, no one can read my diaries. Like Anne Frank, maybe someone might decide to publish my diaries after I die.
Why do I suddenly talk so much about diaries? It is because during my time of illness, from Aug 2006 to May 2007, I have not written anything in my diary at all, although I keep a daily journal on my cancer treatment & recovery. In fact, the last entry in my diary was 11 Aug 2006, 5 days before I was diagnosed with nose cancer. So I am taking opportunity of this current BSF break to update my diary before my memory begins to fade away.....
I hope to complete my assignment by next week so that I can use the remaining week to prepare for the new BSF term, which begins on 30 Jun. Oh dear, I just remember I still have one more assignment left to do. My home church in Malaysia, Gereja Grace Batu Pahat (Grace Church) has requested me to write a testimony to be published in its "GG Messenger" newsletter. I better find the time to do so this week!
thanks for reading my blog,
tsk tsk
Saturday, 2 June 2007
still 43kg but can eat better now
My schedule is quite full for the first 2 weeks. On Tue (29 May), I went to do a mammogram & ultra-sound at SGH. This is an annual routine. The doctor will review the results with me on 15 Jun. I don't think I have the mental strength to take another health blow, so please pray with me that there will be no bad news.
On Wed (30 May) morning, I went back to see my dentist to follow-up on my teeth. In the afternoon, I had an appointment with a nutritionist recommended by a friend. It was just a casual discussion on food nutrition. Nothing much came out of it. There is nothing new that I do not already know.
Thurs (31 May) was Vesak public holiday. I normally reward myself by sleeping longer on public holidays.....woke up at 10am. A full day of rest? No such luxury as I had asked my sister & her family to come over for dinner. I had planned to serve them Thai cuisine. That was why I was so busy running about the last few days buying all the necessary stuff. When I woke up, I noticed an sms message from Yong Foon (from my DG). She said she had cooked fish porridge & would be bringing it over for my lunch. How sweet of her! It was so timely as I was then wondering what to eat for lunch. And I had no time to cook lunch as I had to start preparing the ingredients. God is so good. He always sees to my needs. I spent the whole afternoon cooking. What is most satisfying to me is to see people enjoying the food so much they want more! You feeling hungry already, right? I wished I could invite all of you over.
This was the 2nd time I cooked a feast for my family. The 1st time was on CNY eve (17 Feb) when I cooked Reunion dinner. At that time, I could only sit at a corner & see my family enjoy the food I cooked. I was so hungry then but I couldn't take a bite. I could only drink soup. Sounds so pitiful, right? But this time, it was so different -- I could join in the makan. I give thanks to God for the small improvements I experience each day. I can now eat more & better. It has been some 7 months since the end of radiation. I have experienced God's goodness, grace & power in my life. All glory be to God!
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Saturday, 19 May 2007
tsk tsk, how r u?
1 May (Tue)
I had to miss BSF tonight due to sore eyes. Apart from being away from BSF in Oct 2006 due to cancer, this was the second time I had to take leave in my 9-year BSF leadership. Somehow, I "hate" missing BSF classes on Tue nights. BSF has become so much a part of my life since I joined in Feb 1995. What attracts me to BSF? It is the disciplined study of God's Word.
4 May (Fri)
I went to the monthly NPC support group meeting tonight. I did not want to miss the talk by Dr Swee Yong Peng on "The use of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) in the treatment of cancer". This is an area which I have always wanted to know since I was diagnosed with cancer in Aug 2006. Dr Swee's main point was that TCM cannot cure or treat cancer but it manages or complements conventional treatment of cancer. TCM relieves symptoms, complements conventional treatment to improve the outcome, improves survival rate & provides palliative care (note : "palliative" means medical treatment that reduces pain without curing its cause).
8 May (Tue)
I was so happy to be back to BSF tonight. My sore eyes were completely healed. While it takes most people 2-3 days to recover from sore eyes, it took me 2 weeks to recover. Must be careful not to go near infected people in future due to my low immunity.
15 May (Tue)
I had very bad tummy upset today. My tummy started feeling funny late morning. I thought it would go off as soon as it came, as was normally the case. I have been suffering from a condition known medically as "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" (IBS) since birth. It's self-manageable in the sense that I understand how my stomach behaves & then learn to live with it. Some friends said I should seek medical help but I don't think I want to subject myself to lifetime medical treatment or medication. Back to my tummy upset, I was going to toilet every 10-15 min. Oh dear, of all days, it was Tuesday. When I didn't get better by 5pm, I sms-ed my co-leader. But somehow I was confident I would be able to make it to BSF tonight. After my last toileting, I prayed, "Lord, please let my toileting stop as soon as I step out of this house. Lord, please also take away my urge to go to toilet the whole night.” And to cut the whole story short, the Lord wonderfully answered my prayer. As soon as I stepped out of my apartment, the discomfort disappeared. My tummy behaved itself the whole class night. God is ever so faithful to His children, especially when we are doing His work. Thank You, Lord!
19 May (Sat)
My tummy upset came back again this morning. My tummy felt uncomfortable the whole of Leaders' Meeting, although not as severe as Tue. I had to go toileting twice. I had to try to control the discomfort. When I came home, I tried to analyse what could be the cause. Two tummy upsets in a week; and it seemed to come after I drank the brewed TCM herbal drink. I suspect it might have to do with the newly prescribed TCM herbs, but I just can't be 100% sure. I have to go back to consult my TCM physician next week.
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Thursday, 15 March 2007
One week school break
How time flies. Nine months have passed since my ear problem first surfaced. And I am recovering so well that I felt I was fit & strong enough to finish my uncompleted job. Spring-cleaning is never a pleasant task. To me, the most difficult thing to do is to throw away things that have "sentimental value". I kept reminding myself I must learn to live with less, I must learn to "let go", I must learn to keep only the essentials for lack of storage space. Yes, there are many things I still need to learn. Earthly things will come & go; but the things of God will last forever. I must focus on doing things that have eternal value -- such as walking with God, spending time with God, and serving God. One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Genesis 5:22 - "Enoch walked with God 300 years". I pray that I too will walk with God all the days of my life.
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Thursday, 8 February 2007
Thank God for BSF
I thank God for BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). BSF International has its headquarters in San Antonio, Texas, USA. BSF started in 1953 & has grown to 1000 classes worldwide today. There are now 15 classes in Singapore, going on to 16. I have been in BSF since Feb 1995. I was called to be a Discussion Leader in 1998. After serving as a DL for 5 years, I switched over to be a Children's Leader. Through BSF, I have not only learned more of God & His Word, I've also loved God & His Word more. I have also made a number of good friends at BSF. This is one good memory about Singapore I will take with me should God call me to leave Singapore one day.
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Wednesday, 24 January 2007
A new BSF term
It was all excitement for the Children's Leaders as we welcome the students back to the BSF School Program after a 3-month break. For CF & I, it was a wonderful change to be given Level 1 class to teach this year. These P1 & P2 kids are so cute & adorable!
I praise God for the privilege to serve. At first, I wasn't sure if I would recover in time for the new BSF term. But here I am, back once again as a Children's Leader, but with a new "handicap", my dry mouth. For days, I was full of concern for my dry mouth. Will it affect my teaching? I prayed & pleaded with the Lord. And the Lord was faithful to His promises. He took care of my mouth throughout the 2-hour session. CF told me my voice sounded normal. I knew that it was the Lord's enablement. Thank You, Lord, for teaching me to be dependent on You for everything. Thank You, Lord, for showing me what a great God You are!
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Saturday, 20 January 2007
First BSF LM
Then I went to London to see the Queen, in my dreams, yawn yawn ...
Monday, 15 January 2007
Wonderful Weekend
Thank God for the great news! SK will be teaching Level 1 at BSF Sch Prog with co-leader CF. The first leader's meeting will be on Saturday 20 Jan and the first class meeting will be on Tuesday 23 Jan.
Pray that all will run smoothly ... although this pair of leaders is capable of causing a riot. Everyone, beware!
Friday, 12 January 2007
TGIF
BSF 2007 starts tomorrow with the Workshop for Leaders. It is so wonderful, it is such a privilege to be able to serve God in BSF once again.