life may be unfair but God is good

On this night before I am admitted to SGH tomorrow for a lung surgery, my mind travels back to the events of the last 2 years.

• I discovered I had nose cancer (NPC) in Aug 2006.
• I underwent 8 weeks of radiation treatment in Sep-Oct 2006.
• The MRI scan done in Jan 2007 confirmed the nasopharynx area behind my nose was clear of tumour.
• My first annual CT scan in Sep 2007 showed sub-cm tiny nodules in the right lung.
• A follow-up lung scan in Mar 2008 confirmed 2 nodules in the right lung, "suspicious of metastasis".
• PET scan done in Mar 2008 could not determine if the nodules were malignant.
• My second annual CT scan done in Nov 2008 made the same conclusion, "suspicious of pulmonary metastasis".
• My oncologist referred me to see a lung surgeon.
• On 11 Dec 2008, Dr Koong advised that the nodules should be removed as soon as possible.
• The surgery was fixed on 22 Dec 2008.

In the 2 months between Nov & Dec 2008, there was fear & anxiety within me as I tried to make sense of what was happening. But as I confide my fears & anxieties to the Lord, I begin to feel God's peace & presence within me.

I learned from my oncologist that rarely does NPC spread to the lungs. According to him, the number of such cases so far could be counted with one hand. And one of them has to be me.

Why is life so unfair? I recently read an RBC booklet of the same title, based on the story of Asaph who wrote Psalm 73. Incidentally, one of my favourite verses is Psalm 73:26 - "My flesh & my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart & my portion forever."

Life may be unfair but God is good. God has been my Strength in times of adversity. God has been my Hope when everything seems hopeless. God has been my Peace when my heart is gripped with fear & uncertainty.

Life may be unfair but I will trust my loving Father all the way. This is because I know that God is too wise to make mistakes; God is too good to make me suffer for no reason or purpose.

I pray that it will not be cancer. Even if it is, I will still love the Lord my God with all my heart. Daniel's words came to mind :

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18)

As I lie on the operating table on Monday morning, I know that you will be on your knees praying for me. I know that the Lord will be with me in the operating room. God is our Creator, our Divine Physician, our Healer.

See you all after my surgery,

tsk tsk

tsk's prayer request

Below are some details about the surgery.

Hospital : Singapore General Hospital
Admission date : Sun 21 Dec 2008, 1pm
Operation date : Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8am
Surgeon : Prof Koong HN
Length of surgery : 2-3 hours
Ward : Blk 5, Ward 56
Length of hospitalisation : about 7-8 days
Visiting hours : preferably lunch time & evenings (no visits on Mon, Tue unless necessary)

note : no phone calls, sms is preferred

Please pray that :

• the Lord will guide Prof Koong & his medical team to perform this delicate surgery
• there will be no complications during & after the surgery (eg no infection, stroke or bleeding)
• the surgery will be successful in removing the affected areas in the right lung
• there will be no or minimal post-surgery side-effects (eg numbness, pain)
• whatever the result (malignant or benign), the Lord will grant me His strength & peace as I go through yet another trial
  

thanks for praying,
tsk tsk
hp : 9107-0036

has cancer returned?

It had been an agonising 2 weeks since I received my latest CT scan results on 26 Nov 2008. Has cancer returned? Is the time-bomb in my right lung about to explode?

This is the second time in 2 years the report says, "suspicious of pulmonary metastases". This means cancer is suspected to have spread to the lung. The nodule on the upper lobe of my right lung has increased in size from previous 0.2cm to 0.6cm. There are 2 other smaller nodules on the lower lobe. The report sounded like a second death sentence. I wished it was a mistake. I wished it was all a bad dream. I wished I did not have to relive the agony of cancer.

My oncologist looked worried. He showed me the scanned images on the computer. I saw the 3 nodules. He added cautiously, "we don't know if it is cancer but anything that grows at this rate is likely to be cancer." Dr Wee gave me 4 options to consider. I asked to see a surgical oncologist. He referred me to Prof Koong, the head of surgical oncology at NCC, who specialises in lung cancer.

Prof Koong was on leave, so I was scheduled to see him on the day he returned - 12 Dec 2008. But on Tue, his nurse called to ask me to come a day earlier. I am thankful to PS who took time to be with me. Prof Koong patiently explained the need for surgery & advised that the surgery should be done as soon as possible to prevent further complications. The nodule tissue will be sent for lab tests to determine if it is malignant (cancer). This is a major operation which will take probably 2-3 hours. Post-surgery side-effects include temporary numbness & occasional pain.

Prof Koong gave 2 available dates for surgery - 22 Dec or 19 Jan. We decided on the earlier date although I felt it was too soon. The idea of going for surgery made me very scared. Eight years ago, I underwent a 4-hour surgery to remove a thyroid nodule. I know what it's like to go under the knife. Now I have to go through another one again.

22 Dec is only 10 days away. I will be warded for about a week. This means I will be spending Christmas at SGH. My first Noel in a hospital.

"My flesh and my heart may fail
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:26)

thanks for walking with me through this difficult journey,

tsk tsk

50kg at long last

I am required to do a CT Scan (from head to abdomen) on my anniversary month every year. After I did the scan this morning at NCC, I went to weigh myself at the same weighing machine. I had done this for the last 2 years. Different weighing machines show me different weights, so I only trust this particular machine for consistency.

I was happy I finally weighed 50kg. It has taken me one whole lifetime to reach 50kg. This gives me a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 19.5 which is within the normal range. My BMI used to be 18.5 or less. I was underweight for most of my life. It's such an irony of life - some people try so hard to lose weight while I try so hard to put on weight.

I will know the scan results next Wed when I see my oncologist.

thanks for praying,
tsk tsk

what did ENT say?

Thyroid Ultrasound & Biopsy Results
The ultrasound showed 2 lesions of 0.6cm & 0.5cm in the upper pole and a small nodule of 0.7cm x 0.4cm in the lower pole of my left thyroid. But they appear benign.

Occasional dizzy spells & falling sensation
Dr Ng did some physical tests on me. I was asked to stand with eyes closed, lie down, turn my head & so on. I think I "failed" the tests. He suspected I might have problem with my inner ear. He said this could be caused by radiation & explained that low blood pressure was not the cause but could make my condition worse. He prescribed Betahistine & Prochloperazine to stabilise my dizzy spells. I have to take this medication for the next 3 months before coming back to do Vestibular Battery Test (VBT) in Dec. The test will take 1-1.5 hours.

• Vestibular testing consists of a number of tests that help determine if there is something wrong with the vestibular (balance) portion of the inner ear.
• These tests can help isolate dizziness symptoms to a specific cause that can often be treated.
• If dizziness is not caused by the inner ear, it might be caused by the brain, by medical disorders such as low blood pressure or by psychological problems such as anxiety.

Choking Experiences
Occasionally I feel choked by a lump of "phlegm" in my throat. Breathing becomes difficult. I have to drain down the "phlegm" with lots of water. I notice that I often feel hungry too, even after a meal. From the symptoms I described, Dr Ng suspected I might be suffering from gastroesophageal reflux. He explained that it was not phlegm but acid that came back to my throat from the stomach.

• Stomach contents are normally acidic & are kept inside the stomach by a valve at the lower end of the esophagus (food tube or gullet).
• Gastroesophageal reflux is the term used when stomach acids come back into the esophagus or throat.
• Symptoms result from direct irritation by acid & stomach enzymes or by reflex tightening of throat muscles.
• The sense of a lump in the throat is called globus & may result from chronic reflux laryngitis or increased tension in the upper esophageal muscles behind the voice box.
• An increase in secretions in the throat results in habitual throat clearing. These secretions may be mistaken as post-nasal drip or "phlegm".
• A patient with night-time reflux may awaken with a sore, irritated throat & a gravely hoarse voice.
• Muscle tension in the larynx may lead to vocal difficulty, trouble swallowing & in severe cases to choking spells & airway obstruction.
• Heartburn is a typical symptom of gastroesophageal reflux.

Dr Ng put me on Omeprazole to decrease the amount of acid produced in my stomach. Omeprazole is used to treat symptoms of gastroesophageal reflux and other conditions caused by excess stomach acid.

Is my body slowly breaking down because of radiation? Did I inherit all these "diseases" from radiation? I sometimes joke that I may die from these symptoms but not from cancer!

I thank God that I can live each day by His grace, with or without cancer.

tsk tsk

thyroid nodule

I had an operation 8 years ago to remove a nodule on the right lobe of my thyroid gland. The benign nodule measured 1.5cm & the operation took several hours.

The PET scan I did in March had shown a nodule on the left side of my thyroid. Tomorrow I will be going to SGH to do a thyroid ultrasound followed by FNAB (fine needle aspiration biopsy). The results will be reviewed by my ENT doctor in Sep.

I will also be seeing my gynae in the afternoon to follow-up on my fibroids & to review the CA125 results.

thanks for praying,
tsk tsk

medical schedule

This is an update on my medical appointments for the rest of the year.

7 Aug - NDC dental follow-up
21 Aug - Blood test for CA125
28 Aug - Thyroid ultrasound & FNAB
28 Aug - O&G Clinic (fibroid, CA125 review)
18 Sep - ENT Clinic (thyroid nodule review)
20 Nov - Annual CT scan
26 Nov - NCC (CT scan review)
26 Nov - NDC dental follow-up
27 Nov - Liver ultrasound
3 Dec - Liver Clinic (ultrasound review)
11 Dec - ENT Clinic (VBT & consultation)

16 Aug is forever etched in my memory. It marks my second anniversary. I give thanks to God that I have survived for 2 years. Each day is a day of grace & blessing from God.

thanks for journeying with me these 2 years,
tsk tsk

dry cough

In the past 2 weeks, I have developed a dry irritating cough which refuses to go away. I also notice that my dry mouth has become more dry, the corners of my lips are tearing & my right thumb is cracking again. I am not sure if they are all related, but they seem to come all at the same time!

Last Saturday, my TCM physician added a herb into the prescription to relieve my dry throat. He also advised me to take China pears. I am taking lots of fruits which I think may help lubricate my dry throat & mouth. Because I have xerostomia (dry mouth), a side-effect of radiation, my mouth is always dry for lack of saliva so I need to sip water throughout the day. But it doesn't do much to relieve my dry throat.

cough......cough......cough
tsk tsk

not another cancer scare?

At 2.43pm today, I received a surprise call from my gynae's nurse. Nobody likes to receive phone calls from his or her doctor. Doctors normally call only when there is bad news.

So I prepared my heart for bad news. My mind immediately turned to the tumour markers I did last Thurday to test for ovarian cancer. My gynae mentioned they would call me if the tests showed bad results; otherwise my next visit would be in 3 months.

The nurse told me my gynae would like to see me in early July instead of August. I asked her why. She replied, "The tumour markers showed very high reading so it is of much concern." I asked, "If it is so urgent, then why not I come in this week?" The nurse said, "It's not that urgent but your gynae suggests you come back in early July." So we fixed the appointment for 3 July 2008.

I pray that it wouldn't be another cancer scare. I had a scare in March when my lung report suspected lung metastasis (meaning, cancer was suspected to have spread to the lungs). But the PET scan I did showed there was no sign of cancer in my lungs.

"Lord, my flesh & my heart may fail, but You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

tsk tsk

breast check today

I have an appointment at the breast clinic, SGH today to review the ultrasound I took last week. A lump was found on the left breast. I expect my doctor to suggest doing a biopsy, as he did 3 years ago when he removed 2 benign lumps on the right breast. Somehow my heart tells me this new lump will be benign as well. My doctor always reminds me I am in the high risk group as I come from a family of breast cancer. I lost a sister to breast cancer 20 years ago.

"Lord, thank You for giving me Your peace."
tsk tsk

3 appointments at sgh today

Whew......this week is the last BSF class for this term. It has been a 13-week marathon since Feb. I've run out of steam & have been looking forward to this long-overdue break for a long time. There's so much that our body can take. I suppose God did not make us like super-machines that can work 24/7. I suppose my tiredness was also partly a result of my weekly TCM consultation on Sat night. I'm glad I now need to consult Dr Cheng once every fortnight.

Today, I have 3 appointments at SGH. I don't know if scheduling all 3 appointments on the same day will prove to be a clever idea. I wanted to kill 3 birds in one day, rather than to kill 1 bird each on 3 different days. I will know by the end of the day who gets killed, me or the bird!

11.00am = mammogram + breast ultrasound
1.30pm = National Dental Centre (try new denture)
2.20pm = ENT clinic
Afternoon = Chinatown (to buy herbs)

The results of the mammogram/ultrasound will be known next Fri, 30 May. The breast clinic sees patients only on Fridays. Last year, the ultrasound shows many cysts on my right breast. I pray that it will be better results this time round.

thanks for remembering this poor wretched soul,
tsk tsk

one tooth gone

Last Sunday morning, one front tooth on the lower jaw fell off while I was brushing my teeth. Good thing it left behind a stump or else I would be in deep trouble. This tooth has become loose after my radiation.

Dr Kaung had explained to me before that tooth extraction is not allowed for NPC survivors in the first 8 years after radiation due to the high risk of infection as the wound would not heal. This is one after-effect of radiation I have to live with after cancer. Daily oral hygiene is essential to prevent tooth decay & infection. It's becoming a daily habit to brush & floss my teeth after each meal. I also need to apply fluoride on my teeth every night. Surgery to the jaws would be necessary if serious tooth infection occurs. I pray this will never happen to me.

I went to the National Dental Centre (NDC) today to have my tooth examined by another dental surgeon as Dr Kaung was busy. Dr Png confirmed there was no tooth infection & treated the stump to prevent any infection in the future. I agreed to wear dentures for the time being. Dr Png advised that should I experience pain or discomfort, I must return to NDC immediately.

As my lower teeth seem to be decaying, it looks like I might have a challienging time ahead. This is the latest addition to my already long list of concerns. Before cancer, I took pride in having a good set of teeth & a clean bill of health. But cancer has changed my life.

thanks for praying alongside me on this journey,
tsk tsk

a time-bomb in my body

Finally I had the time to sit down to think through & reflect. Everything was moving so fast the last few days. The bad lung report, the worried expression on my doctor's face, the gentle touch on my shoulders to reassure me, the hurriedly-arranged PET scan, the scan report......what does it all mean?

As I look back at the events of the last few days, one thing is clear to me - the grace & love of God. I do not know & do not understand what is happening. But I know I have a great God whom I can trust in times of trouble. I'm indeed thankful to God for protecting me from the relapse of cancer. I am overwhelmed by the depth of God's love for me. I could sense His presence as He wept along with me. I could sense His comfort as He put His loving arms around me. I could sense His compassion as He allowed me to express my innermost fears to Him. I could sense His strength as He lifted me up from my agony of pain. Not once did my Father condemn me for reacting like any human would, for coming to Him as I am.....weak, wretched & helpless.

Praise be to God for a triumphant finish to a week of trials & testing. It’s indeed a relief to know for now that cancer did not / has not spread to other parts of the body (metastasis). I am aware that my battle against cancer is not over yet. What is troubling me is not so much the occasional rib pain I experience from time to time, but to know that the 2 cysts in my right lung are still there, & have grown 3 times in the past 6 months. Assuming the same growth rate in the next 12 months, this means the cysts might grow to 3cm by Mar 2009. This is worrying. It is like having a time-bomb in my body & I do not know when it will explode.

So what should I do now? The doctor’s “wait & see” answer makes me feel rather uneasy. I’m not convinced that I should simply wait & do nothing. I have this time-bomb in my body & my heart prompts me I must do something. I believe I need practical faith to go forth to seek alternative treatment. Since western medicine offers me no solution, it looks like I have to turn to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) to help build my body's immunity. Please pray along with me that God will lead me in the right direction.

I'm now living on God's extended time. Each day is a day of grace from God.

Thanks for travelling this long & difficult journey with me,

tsk tsk

today is the day

I will see my oncologist at 3pm today. The purpose is to review the PET scan result. Today I will know if the cancer has spread to my lungs or other parts of the body.

Those of you who have suffered from cancer will understand how I am feeling. The most frightening news that one can ever hear in his life is "It is cancer." It is like a death penalty, it is as if life will come to an end soon. I heard those 3 words in Aug 2006. I'm scared to hear it again today.

So appropriately, RBC's "Our Daily Bread" (ODB) for today was on Matthew 6:25-34. It seems like God has placed it there so timely to remind me of His care. The ODB notes ended with these assuring words : "When concern for our own well-being leads to anxious thoughts, we can look at the birds & be assured of our value to God & of His care for us."

"We need not fear the perils around us because
the eye of the Lord is always upon us." (ODB)

Eternally thankful to God no matter what the result might be,
tsk tsk

PET scan

I went to SGH to do PET scan this morning. It was such a long day. I was there from 10.30am to 3.30pm. I was so hungry the first thing I did when I came home was to find food. I was required to fast from midnight to prepare for the scan.

I am thankful to these 2 BSF ladies who drove me to & from SGH despite their busy schedule - CF & PS. CF had to fetch her children to/from school after dropping me off at SGH; PS waited for me while I was in the scanning room --- that was a cool 3-hour wait. I am thankful to God for always sending angels to attend to me in my time of need. My DG leader, FM, is so right when he said that BSF is God's gift to me. Indeed it is, and always has been.

The PET scan results will be known in a day or two, but I do not wish to know the results until I see my oncologist next Wed. My heart tells me it would be bad news, so I don't want to hear it too soon. This "lung" thing has been troubling me since last year when I first learned of the tiny nodule on my right lung. I've been preparing myself for the worst since then. Now it seems that the day has come.

Whatever the outcome, I will praise God along with the psalmist : "Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD & delight in His salvation." (Psalm 35:9)

thanks for walking with me in my journey with cancer,
tsk tsk

has cancer spread to my lungs?

Has cancer spread to my lungs? I will know the answer by next week.

My lung scan report released today was not good. The 2 nodules had grown in size. I thought that previously there was only one nodule, how come now there are 2? The report says, "These are suspicious for metastasis" (metastasis means cancer has spread to another part of the body).
My oncologist immediately arranged for me to do an urgent PET scan test tomorrow. Positron Emission Tomography or PET scan is a unique type of imaging test that helps doctors see how the organs and tissues inside the body are actually functioning. PET scans are commonly used to detect cancer, heart problems, brain disorders and other central nervous system disorders.

This is my second health scare since Aug 2006. I had been rather anxious about my lungs since Sep 2007 when my body-scan report revealed a "stable non-specific nodule" on my right lung. I couldn't sleep the whole night yesterday; maybe subconsciously my mind was anxious. Sometimes my body seems to forewarn me about something unpleasant that is to come.

I was so exhausted after a whole day in the hospital today that I napped for more than an hour when I came home. Alone at home, I felt so lost & lonely. The place was so quiet. There was no one I could confide in or cry with. Lord, where are You? In times like this, I sometimes feel like the Lord has forgotten me.

Please uphold me in prayers as I go through another hurdle with cancer,

tsk tsk

lung scan

In Sep 2007, a body scan showed a small cyst on my right lung. The doctor said to wait for 6 months before following up with another scan. So I did the lung scan today (ie CT thorax).

In the past few months, I have been experiencing pain occasionally on my upper chest area. I don't know if it is a sign of any trouble. A bone scan I did in Jan did not reveal anything wrong with my bones. I pray that my lung scan will not show anything wrong with my lungs either.

So where does the chest pain come from? I can't seem to identify the cause. Maybe it's just muscle pain.

tsk tsk

bone scan

I went for my bone scan this morning. After the jab, the nurse told me I had to wait 2 hours before the scan could be done. Since it was such a long wait, I was allowed to go back to office to do some work as long as I returned to the hospital within the 2 hours.

I am actually feeling quite scared what the scan might show. I had a hunch something is just not right with my body; it's either my bone or breast that is in trouble this time. More than a year ago, I also had a hunch that something was not right when my ear began to give me problems. And my hunch turned out to be right. This same nightmare is haunting me again. "What if...........?"

Nobody will understand the anxiety, the fear I'm going through. I'm preparing myself for the worst. Although I have to face it alone, the Lord knows how much I can take, He knows my breaking point and He will not allow me to be stretched beyond what I can endure.

"Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak."
(Psalm 31:9-10)

Those who are still reading this blog are getting fewer & fewer. But I thank you that I still have a place in your heart. Thank you for remembering me. Thank you for praying.

Thank You, Lord, for the pain,
tsk tsk

rib pain

These days, when I notice a lump or feel pain in any part of my body, I will somehow become fearful & scared.

In the past few weeks I could feel pain on the rib bones of my upper chest. When I touch the affected area, I am not sure if it is a bone or lump. Can it be bone metastasis? During my ENT appointment this morning, I took the chance to ask the ENT doctor. The doctor said I could have over-exerted my muscles during exercise. But given that I am a cancer survivor, it is better to be on the side of caution. So I am scheduled to go for a bone scan on 23 Jan.

Please pray for the Lord's protection on my health.

"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of Your unfailing love."
(Psalm 6:2-4)

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

hello, what happened to you, huh?

My thousand apologies for not updating this blog for so long. To all my friends & prayer supporters out there, thanks for the gentle reminder that I have not been doing my job. What have I been up to? What has kept me busy? How am I doing? I hope this posting will answer your questions.

My life is more or less back to normal. My job as a remisier cum financial advisor has kept me pretty busy in this current hot stockmarket. My health has improved, mainly because I can now eat any food I want (as long as no chillie). At this time last year, I was still on liquid milk & "sick" of it.....so "sick" that my weight went drastically down to 41kg by May 2007. I now weigh 46-47kg. This was my usual weight before cancer. I am happy to keep to this weight as I don't have to change my wardrobe!

Below is a snapshot of the main events since my last posting on 7 Nov 07.

14 Nov 07 : Liver scan showed a small cyst. It could be the same cyst that was spotted on my liver before I started radiation. Dr Wong said it looked like a harmless bubble or water cyst, just like some people have spots or pimples on their face. She said some people have cysts on their livers without knowing, so not to worry about it. So what next? To do ultrasound in a year's time.

1 Dec 07 : Attended a church friend's 60th birthday party. It was organised with the theme "Back in the 1960's". Everyone was expected to come dressed in the 1960's outfit! And the songs played & sung that night were the 1960's hits ..... one favourite oldie was Theresa Teng's "Yueliang DaiBiao Wode Xin".

5 Dec 07 : Someone at the above party told me that Qigong was a good health-maintenance exercise for cancer survivors. So this morning, I followed this couple to Pierce Reservoir. But we ended up doing normal stretching exercise as the Qigong master did not come. I need to do more research on Qigong as I do not know if there are aspects of Qigong that are not biblical.

10 Dec 07 : Met up with my former Imperial College classmates for lunch - Alex & Siok Peng. Believe it or not, we had probably not met for the last 10 years or so, although the 3 of us are in Singapore. Imperial College had its anniversary celebration here recently but I didn't go. My former lecturer-cum-supervisor, Anne Benjamin flew in but I didn't get to meet her, although we did have a brief chat over the phone (Anne, if you are reading this, do contact me again the next time you come to Spore).

13 Dec 07 : Appointment with dermatalogist. My skin has become ultra-sensitive to chemicals. My right thumb & thumbnail are badly affected. Henceforth, need to wear gloves to do housework to avoid direct contact with chemicals. Unrelated to my skin problem, I can still feel electric current running down my right arm from time to time, although less frequently now after I started taking Vit B12 complex. My left thumb feels numb & painful occasionally. These are some of the changes taking place in my body which I'm getting used to. It's part of the late & long-term side effects of radiation.

15 Dec 07 : Attended Christmas party held by NCC for cancer survivors (NCC = National Cancer Centre). Good fun, good food, good prizes, big crowd. It was good to see so many cancer survivors coming to enjoy themselves. All my life, I was never "lucky" in winning lucky-draw prizes. In the past, I had attended functions such as company D&D; everyone at my table would win a prize except yours truly. But at the NCC Christmas party, I won 2 prizes! There were 88 prizes. I won the 66th & 8th prizes. How come I won 2 prizes? For the top 10 prizes, everyone's names were thrown in for a re-draw, which meant some survivors would have a chance to win a 2nd prize. I was one of them! Someone commented my "luck" had turned around for the better. But as a Christian, I don't believe in "luck". I believe that God is sovereign & is in full control of my life. Nothing in my life happens by chance or "luck".

Nov-Dec 07 : I had also been busy experimenting with cooking & baking. I would most likely be hosting CNY reunion dinner again next year, so I need to plan my CNY menu now. Besides my signature chocolate pudding cake, people love my pandan kaya cake. Friends would get invited to taste some of these yummy dishes & cakes on one condition - don't ask or pester me for secret recipes! Just eat & enjoy!

I hope to post my last thoughts for 2007 before the year is out.

thanks for walking with me through 2007,
tsk tsk