time out from BSF

“My son asked if you could teach him again next year. I told him you are leaving BSF,” one BSF leader told me at the Leaders' Meeting yesterday.

These words warmed my heart. God has indeed impacted the life of this boy. Teaching the Senior Level at the BSF school program has been very fulfilling. It is a joy to see young people yearning to know God & hungering for His Word. It is an encouragement to see them growing in the Lord. I am thankful I can be a part of this boy’s spiritual journey with God.

Doing God's work has its share of discouragements too. But our Heavenly Father knows how to handle them. In my 10 years as a BSF leader, God had never failed to send someone to lift me up whenever I had felt like quitting. Last year, God sent a 7-year-old boy to encourage me when I had thought of leaving BSF (see blog entry on 28 Aug 2007).

Yes, I am leaving BSF after 10 long years of service. This is the 3rd time I have asked the Lord for permission to leave. This time He granted my request. I call it my one-year sabbatical but my BSF co-labourers call it a secondment. I need time out from BSF to settle some earthly business before the Lord calls me home. Like the prophet Elijah, I also feel burnt-out & need a personal retreat with God to reflect, to refresh, to rejuvenate. And if God willing, I would like to go back to school not to earn another degree but to equip myself further for God's service.

Nose Cancer Support Group
Another reason for my sabbatical was because I felt the calling to commit one year of my life to serve in the NPC Support Group. NPC-SG is a nose cancer support group under the auspices of the National Cancer Centre (NCC). This support group was set up in 2005 to provide an environment for emotional support & sharing of experiences among NPC patients & survivors. It organises talks & activities to help patients & survivors cope with nose cancer (NPC = nasopharyngeal or nose cancer).

I have been with this support group for the last 2 years. We meet on the 1st Friday of the month at the NCC premises. I believe it's important for cancer survivors to meet other survivors who share the same experiences, walk the same journey & speak the same language. Life after cancer is a totally new experience for every survivor; there are anxieties, challenges & frustrations along the way. The cancer support group is the place to meet similar people who understand what we are going through & remind us that we are not alone.

With the growing membership, the NPC-SG committee has felt the need to set up a website. But this project has been put on hold for 2 years as no suitable person with writing ability could be found. The committee chairman approached me for help as he felt I could contribute in this area. I thought & prayed hard. It took me many months before I said yes. I wasn't sure if I could be fully committed. I will simply take one step at a time, trusting God to lead me to do what He wants me to do.

tsk tsk

I am still alive & kicking

My long silence could mean 2 things. Either I'm dead or I'm busy like everyone else. In the event I enter into eternal glory, there will be an announcement on this blog. I know that my former manager, PS will announce my departure on this blog on my behalf. PS was the creator of this blog & she will also bring it to a close should I go to heaven before her.

So, tsk tsk, what have you been doing these past 2 months? Good thing I keep a daily journal, so it's not a problem recalling what I did in Feb & Mar.

5 Feb 2008 - Today was the eve of Lunar New Year's Eve. I held a reunion dinner tonight because I would be going home to Batu Pahat tomorrow. My youngest sister, Shuli came back for CNY (she is based in Taiwan). My eldest sister, Shuyun & family joined us for dinner.

6 Feb 2008 - I baked Pandan Kaya cake this morning for my family. Shuli's friend, Mei Yan gave us a lift back to Batu Pahat. We left Singapore at about 4pm. We did not make it in time for reunion dinner as we reached BP past 9pm. There was a heavy traffic jam at the causeway. Mei Yan also had to drop by JB to pick up her brother's family.

7 Feb 2008 - Xin Nian Meng En! Blessed Lunar New Year! My family & I attended the CNY service at Saving Grace Chinese Church. Then we "bai-nian" the whole afternoon, visiting some of my Ah-Yi and Ah-Koh. Time did not permit me to visit more.

8 Feb 2008 - A good "elderly" friend brought me out for lunch. Mum & Shuli joined us too. Without fail, this person would call me on the second day of CNY every year. This was the time of the year she knew for sure I would be home. I went shopping at BP Mall tonight. BP is growing numerically & commercially. BP is now the 10th largest town in Malaysia with a population of about 470,000. Everytime I go back, there will be new shopping malls which are crowded with people. Besides BP Mall, there is also Carrefour hypermarket. Both of these are giant size to the envy of Singapore.

9 Feb 2008 - My 2nd brother drove me & Shuli back to Singapore. Mum came along. They dropped by my eldest sister's place to "bai-nian" before spending the rest of the day at my place.

15 Feb 2008 - Shuli returned to Taiwan this morning. We had a wonderful time of fellowship during the one-week she stayed with me.

16 Feb 2008 - BSF workshop today......this signals the end of the long 4-month break. After today, life is going to get busy, busy, busy again. BSF is doing the book of Matthew. YP & I will be co-teaching the Senior Level class (15-18 years old). This is the 2nd time I am teaching the Senior class. The last time was 2004/2005.

23 Feb 2008 - We had our 1st BSF Leaders' Meeting this morning. In the evening, I went with 2 friends to JB to attend a wedding dinner - Teck Hui & Ley Tin's daughter's wedding. TH & LT are good, old friends from Batu Pahat. Believe it or not, we have not seen each other for almost 30 years. It was a beautiful wedding. The most nostalgic part of the evening was the meeting of former BP folks whom we have not seen for almost 30 years since our Youth Fellowship days in Batu Pahat! For many of us, we couldn't recognise each other! It's obvious we don't look as youthful as our teenage years......but the voice, the mannerisms haven't changed a single bit! There is talk about organising a reunion for all BP folks..........before we all pass on.

7 Mar 2008 - I attended the NPC Support group meeting tonight. The talk was on TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine). This time, the talk would be spread over 2 Fridays. The 2 speakers are TCM physicians from Thong Chai Medical Institution at Chin Swee Road. These 2 physicians specialise in cancer treatment using TCM.

8 Mar 2008 - Today was the 12th General Election in Malaysia. As a Malaysian citizen, I am eligible to vote but I have not gone back to BP to cast my vote for the past 2 or 3 elections. Reason? My vote doesn't make any difference. Why? If you are familiar with Malaysian history, you will know that Batu Pahat is the birthplace of UMNO & therefore a stronghold of UMNO. Politics in BP is very boring because the opposition parties know they have very slim chance of winning here. I stayed up the whole night to watch the results of the election......so shocked with the results I couldn't sleep!

14 Mar 2008 - Attended Part 2 of the talk on TCM at the NPC Support Group meeting.

18 Mar 2008 - Tonight I had to go solo, meaning I had to teach the 2-hour program all by myself as my co-CL was sick. The "spiritual attack" came again. My left ear suffered a sudden blockage when I started my Bible Lesson. The ear blockage also went off suddenly as soon as I finished my 25-min BL. When my ear was blocked, I could not hear myself very clearly so I spoke very loud (this was what CS told me when I shared my experience with her). It happened several times last year too. Strange thing is, my ear would suddenly become blocked when I start the BL. But when I do the other segments (discussion, discovery, closing), I don't experience ear blockage at all. I don't understand. What I know is that each time it happens, I feel very lousy because I can't hear my own voice. But I know that the Holy Spirit will guide my mouth to say the words He wants the students to hear. The amazing thing is I do not need to sip any water during the 2-hour session - not only tonight, but every Tuesday night. This is my experience of God.

This is the end of my daily journal recorded for the months of Feb & Mar. Thanks for reading. Hope you will whisper my name in your prayers each time you read my blog.

praise God I'm still alive & kicking,

tsk tsk

EBV infection

Ever heard of EBV infection? I heard this term for the first time during the NPC support group meeting yesterday. Oncologist Dr John Low spoke on "Side-Effects of Radiotherapy & Chemotherapy in Nasopharyngeal Cancer (NPC)". Dr Low mentioned in his talk that the causes of NPC are EBV infection, genetic & diet rich in salted fish, meat & veg. I was curious about this EBV thing so I surfed the internet to find out more.

(1) EBV = Epstein-Bar Virus
(2) There is a complex link between EBV infection and NPC. Many studies have found high levels of this virus in the blood of people with NPC.
(3) EBV is known to cause cells in the nasopharynx to become cancerous. Most people infected with EBV develop only infectious mononucleosis, and their immune system is able to recognize and destroy the virus. These patients recover without any long-term problems.
(4) In some cases, however, pieces of viral DNA mix with the DNA of cells in the nasopharynx. When a cell is infected with the virus, the viral DNA may mix with the normal human DNA. EBV DNA is able to instruct the cells of the nasopharynx to divide and grow in an abnormal way.
(5) EBV infection rarely results in NPC. Eating a diet high in salted fish and meat seems to increase the ability of EBV to cause NPC. Studies indicate that foods preserved in this way may undergo changes that produce chemicals that can damage DNA. The damaged DNA alters the cells’ ability to properly regulate growth and replication.

This info on EBV is interesting. I didn't know I had the EB Virus in my blood. I'm grateful that the Lord had helped me to detect it early & to receive treatment early. Dr Low said there are long-term & late side-effects of radiation. Knowing this will help me to be better prepared for the long walk ahead.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

tsk tsk, how r u?

I know I have been silent for so long. My sore eyes really wore me down. It has been 3 weeks since I last wrote. So what's the latest progress?

1 May (Tue)
I had to miss BSF tonight due to sore eyes. Apart from being away from BSF in Oct 2006 due to cancer, this was the second time I had to take leave in my 9-year BSF leadership. Somehow, I "hate" missing BSF classes on Tue nights. BSF has become so much a part of my life since I joined in Feb 1995. What attracts me to BSF? It is the disciplined study of God's Word.

4 May (Fri)
I went to the monthly NPC support group meeting tonight. I did not want to miss the talk by Dr Swee Yong Peng on "The use of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) in the treatment of cancer". This is an area which I have always wanted to know since I was diagnosed with cancer in Aug 2006. Dr Swee's main point was that TCM cannot cure or treat cancer but it manages or complements conventional treatment of cancer. TCM relieves symptoms, complements conventional treatment to improve the outcome, improves survival rate & provides palliative care (note : "palliative" means medical treatment that reduces pain without curing its cause).

8 May (Tue)
I was so happy to be back to BSF tonight. My sore eyes were completely healed. While it takes most people 2-3 days to recover from sore eyes, it took me 2 weeks to recover. Must be careful not to go near infected people in future due to my low immunity.

15 May (Tue)
I had very bad tummy upset today. My tummy started feeling funny late morning. I thought it would go off as soon as it came, as was normally the case. I have been suffering from a condition known medically as "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" (IBS) since birth. It's self-manageable in the sense that I understand how my stomach behaves & then learn to live with it. Some friends said I should seek medical help but I don't think I want to subject myself to lifetime medical treatment or medication. Back to my tummy upset, I was going to toilet every 10-15 min. Oh dear, of all days, it was Tuesday. When I didn't get better by 5pm, I sms-ed my co-leader. But somehow I was confident I would be able to make it to BSF tonight. After my last toileting, I prayed, "Lord, please let my toileting stop as soon as I step out of this house. Lord, please also take away my urge to go to toilet the whole night.” And to cut the whole story short, the Lord wonderfully answered my prayer. As soon as I stepped out of my apartment, the discomfort disappeared. My tummy behaved itself the whole class night. God is ever so faithful to His children, especially when we are doing His work. Thank You, Lord!

19 May (Sat)
My tummy upset came back again this morning. My tummy felt uncomfortable the whole of Leaders' Meeting, although not as severe as Tue. I had to go toileting twice. I had to try to control the discomfort. When I came home, I tried to analyse what could be the cause. Two tummy upsets in a week; and it seemed to come after I drank the brewed TCM herbal drink. I suspect it might have to do with the newly prescribed TCM herbs, but I just can't be 100% sure. I have to go back to consult my TCM physician next week.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

Late side effects of RT

I attended the NPC support group meeting last Friday. The talk was given by Dr Tham, an ENT specialist, on "Coping with the side effects of radiotherapy". Although I am an NPC survivor, I still have much to learn about nasopharyngeal cancer (NPC) or nose cancer. Most of the time, we patients don't get much info from our oncologists due to the very tight consultation time. So attending talks like this & meeting fellow survivors are very helpful.

This is something new I learn from the talk -- late side effects of RT could surface 3 months after the end of RT & even beyond. They include : oral complications, swallowing problems, ear complications, eye complications, radiation induced cancers & pituitary problems. This information is very useful as it helps me to be better prepared should such side effects occur later in life. It also provides useful advice on what I could do now to prevent or minimise the side effects.

I am praying against all these side effects in the Lord's name. I will continue to trust the Lord all the way, that He will heal & restore me completely.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk