thank You, Lord

About 25 people turned up at the Thanksgiving Open House today. Thank you for coming to celebrate God's goodness with me. Your presence & prayers were a great encouragement to me.

To those who couldn't come but had sent their well wishes via call, sms or email, thank you. Thank you, Ai Fong, for initiating this Thanksgiving Open House. Thanks also to those who had cooked or bought food. Each one of you had brought cheer to my heart. Thank you for spending the last day of the year with me. Thank you for leaving behind such sweet memories.

Thank You, Lord for 2008 -- for joy & sorrow, for roses & thorns, for sunshine & rain, for calm & storms, for mountains & valleys, for laughter & tears, for pleasure & pain, for hope & despair, for health & sickness, for peace & turmoil, for comfort & grief. Thank You, Lord for Your strength & grace to live each day.

You can view some photos under the heading, "Thanksgiving Dec 2008" on the side column.

"(We) will celebrate Your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of Your righteousness."
(Psalm 145:7)

thank you for journeying along with me this past year,
tsk tsk

God's food angels

Before my surgery, some friends asked me out of concern. "You live alone, who is going to look after you when you are discharged? What about your meals, who is going to cook for you?" My reply was, "God will provide." And God did.

I know that God will provide. God had provided in the past. This time, God will provide again. I did not make any arrangements for post-surgery care. I did not inform my family in Malaysia about my surgery. I did not wish to cause them unnecessary anxiety or worry. My family does not read my blog as they are all Chinese-educated. Only my elder sister in Singapore & my younger sister in Taipei are aware of my condition.

My job is to rest well & trust my Heavenly Father to provide. My Father's job is to provide all my needs, just as He has promised in Matthew 6:25-34. And He has.

On the day I was discharged, Ai Min offered me her ensuite room with maid services to help me recuperate until I was well enough to look after myself. I was overwhelmed by her love. But I declined her kind offer.

From the day I was discharged, the Lord began to send His food angels. Each day, someone will volunteer to bring me home-cooked food for lunch or dinner. Some brought me groceries or brewed health tonics. Only the Lord could mobilise these food angels to minister to my needs. I am truly touched by their love in action. I feel so blessed to belong to the family of God.

Lord, You are my Jehovah-Jireh. Thank You for providing all my needs.

tsk tsk

open house on 31 Dec 2008

Dear brothers & sisters in Christ

I underwent lung surgery on Mon 22 Dec 2008 to remove some nodules on my right lung. I was discharged on Fri 26 Dec 2008 after 5 days in the hospital. The operation was successful & I am recovering well. All praise & glory be to our God Almighty.

I would like to thank each one of you for standing by me & praying alongside me in my journey through cancer. Some of you had wanted to visit me when I was warded but I had to post a “No Visit” request on my blog in the first 3 days as I was too weak to receive visitors. I was in great pain & discomfort. But I received a Christmas gift from the Lord when my condition improved by leaps & bounds on Christmas Day. Those of you who visited me on Christmas Day were surprised at my quick recovery. Again, all praise & glory be to God.

My BSF Teaching Leader, Yang Ai Fong, suggested holding an Open House at my residence on Wed 31 Dec 2008 from 1pm to 4pm. The purpose of this Open House is to give thanks to God. This Open House will also allow those who had wanted to visit me at the hospital but could not. I understand that some of you had actually planned or gone to visit me at SGH Ward 56 on Sunday thinking that I was still warded!

Open House means free-and-easy, you may come & go as you wish. Some simple food & drinks will be provided. Ai Fong had graciously volunteered to bake a turkey, to make up for my spending Christmas in the hospital!

I would like to invite you to this Open House. This Open House is open to anyone who would like to visit me. I will post this invitation on my blog too as I do not have everyone’s email addresses. RSVP is not required.

Here are the details of the Open House :

Date : Wed 31 Dec 2008
Time : 1pm – 4pm
Venue : Hillview Regency (please sms for full address)
Request : please DO NOT bring any gifts as there is no more space in my small humble apartment.

(If you are driving, you will be directed by the security guards to park on Level 4 & above at the multi-storey carpark. Ground-level parking is for residents only. Take the carpark lift to the ground floor, the first tower you see is Tower 1A.)

thank you for walking with me through this journey,
sockkim

a word of thanks to PS

Hi everyone, this is tsk. I am back.

I was discharged on Friday, 26 Dec 2008 after 5 days in the hospital. I am happy to be home. I am thankful to the Lord for all that He has done.

While I was hospitalised, PS had worked hard to keep this blog going so you could keep praying for me. "A friend in need is a friend indeed." "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov 18:24b) - these aptly describe my dear friend PS.

At the hospital, PS kept a daily vigil at my bedside, praying for me & sharing my pain with silent tears. She was an angel sent by God, always appearing at the right time when I was in a critical state or when I needed company. On the day of my discharge, PS spent the whole day with me at home, cleaned up my apartment, arranged with Ai Fong to deliver my dinner & made sure I was well enough to look after myself before she made her way home. And she is a mother of three.

BTW, it's time to reveal the true identity of PS - her real name is Phaik Sue. The nurses saw her everyday so one day one of them asked if we were sisters. PS replied, "We have the same Father but we are not sisters." Yes, we are sisters-in-Christ. PS hailed from Melaka, I from Batu Pahat but we met in Singapore through BSF. I thank God for BSF. BSF has given me not only spiritual food but a support group of sisters who have rallied around me in my journey through cancer.

PS, thanks for your love & the sacrifices you have made in looking after me in my time of illness. Lord, thank You for bringing PS into my life.

"...... I was sick and you looked after Me .............
whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,
you did for Me." (Matt 25:36, 40)

To all who have prayed & pleaded with the Lord for me, thank you. I know that God has heard all your prayers for I have recovered faster than I had expected.

All praise & glory be to our God.

tsk tsk

Surrender !!!

Help! I give up, I surrender !!!

This tsk is just too much, she is getting out of hand. Maybe her brain fell out of her head. Ask her where her brain is, then you'll know what I mean.

She sent this : Where my turkey? If don hv, ham oso can. If no ham, salmon boleh juga.
She said this : What, no chaffeur!? When AM offered her nice quiet ensuite room and helper, after she gets discharged.

Well, I am very, very happy tsk is her naughty self again. It is hand-over time. I (ps) enjoyed blogging over the past few days, but I have had enough fun. So bye, everyone! Tsk is back!

2 Thes 1:3 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.

Thanks for praying, ps

Thanksgiving

Philippians 1:3 I thank my God every time I remember you.
Philemon 1:4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers.

It is Boxing Day, and we give thanks to God as always.

This morning, tsk had a few visitors, and they are the last ones to visit her.

Please don't come. Tsk is not in SGH anymore, she has run off home. This is just great news for all of us who are supporting her in prayer.

Last evening, tsk thought she would have salmon for special Christmas dinner, when she looked across the other patient's food tray. What a let down, it turned out to be papaya slices in the cling wrap.

Tsk's saliva drooled all the way to AF's house. So this evening, AF brought a wonderful dinner to her home. Porridge, with salmon and vege!

Thanks for praying, ps

Christmas presents

Phil 4:19 My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Tsk received a wonderful present from Dr Koong this morning. First, he sent tsk to get her lung x-ray done. Her lung was clear, so the drainage tube could be removed. Her oxygen and catheter tubes were also removed. No more tubes! So she's free to move about already. She may even be discharged tomorrow.

Tsk also received a record twenty visitors today. They brought much encouragement, smiles, laughter, carols, gifts and even turkey porridge! But for that, she had to sacrifice her beauty sleep.

After talking, practically non-stop to her visitors, tsk was still not tired. Oh dear! She even had the strength to take a nice, warm bath. And all by herself! After that, she still had the energy to solve sudoku puzzles!

The power of prayer! When we worship the Lord by praying to Him, glorifying Him, witnessing for Him and submitting to Him, He works on our behalf. Our dear tsk is recovering extremely well!

Thanks for praying, ps

About key-holes

The nurse changed three dressings yesterday. So tsk thought she had three key-holes.

Well, today, tsk looked for the three key-holes, but found only two. There were three stitches at the back, and six stitches under the arm pit. The third dressing, which she thought was for another key-hole, was actually for the drainage tube.

Yes, all our praying has made tsk sleep well and eat well. She has certainly regained a lot of her strength. So much that she can even go look for her holes.

Thanks for praying, ps

Blessed Christmas!

Have a very blessed Christmas!

Reporting on tsk

Psalm 67:3,5 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
Psalm 69:30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Tsk is definitely improving. We praise God and we give Him thanks!

She has been sleeping well, this is great for quick healing. The IV line has been removed since she can eat better - porridge which comes with some meat and vege. She is out of bed now, she can sit up on the arm chair beside her bed. But she cannot move around yet, because of the tubes. She has a new 'toy' to exercise her lungs.

The nurse changed her dressings today. Apparently, she has three key-holes. Guess where?

Tsk's throat is dry. She cannot talk too much. Be thankful.

Tsk was fore-warned by the doctor. Ocassionally, she does experience PP (piercing pain).

Thanks for praying, ps

A taste of tsk's sms-es

Hello dear friends,
Let me also share the sms-es I have been receiving from hospital ...

Going sleep now. She needs her beauty sleep.

If poss no visits as still weak cant talk pain. Leavg 4 op room now. Pray. Blog. Instructions from tsk.

I surprise too. Mayb long dlay, doesn't want me too weak go thru op. Father noes best. Guess there's emergency case last min, mine can wait. God heard ur pyr. Dr just calld up nurse 2 giv me milo n biskut! Going take showr. Hungry but must not eat or drink. Before the op.

I peaceful. Must b d power of all ur pyrs. Thank you to all of you, she appreciates your prayers.

Or mayb drug addict on high. That's what she said she may be like after op.

Going take nap now, sleepy. Told you, she needs her beauty sleep.

I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I have. Please continue to pray for tsk.

Thanks for praying, ps

Encouragement from all of you

My dear friends,
These are some of the messages I (ps) have been receiving ... let me share.

Will keep on praying for quick recovery, ability to eat and less pain.
Yes, praying for Tsk's speedy recovery.
I will continue to remember her.
Yes, it's wise not to visit her first as she'll need plenty of rest.
We'll continue to uphold her in prayers.
If there's anything I can help or do for TSK, pls don't hesitate to tell me.
Pls call me as and when you need someone to fill in a gap to do anything.
I read part of her blog and my heart went out to tsk.
Been praying that she is given the best medical advice, and for her spiritual strength to go through another big trial.
I have fond memories of her and would like to help.
When I read of situations like TSK's, my own is so small in comparison.
I am available most of the time.
Yes, I would like to go together with you.
I can provide meals, transport and house chores.
Will keep her in prayer and will visit her at sgh.
I will be there.
Will be praying.
I'd love to be able to support her thru prayer and presence.
The blog of SK really saddens & pains my heart.
I can spend Christmas morning with tsk.
Pl put me down for Dec 24th Wed afternoon.
I will visit TSK when I can for next week.
You may want to let me know what things I can pick-up (buy) for her on the way to hospital.
I can make porridge or oats, with minced meat or butter and milk?
OK, am glad to hear good news.
Sure, please put me in.
I go to the market (mon to fri, not on rainy days) in the mornings and usually I will pass Sock Kim's place. If u need any help, pls let me know.
May we remember tsk in our prayers.
PS, what can I bring for SK tmr?
I read TSK's blog, and my heart goes out to her.
Will visit SK after the op.
I am lost for words.
If she doesn't eat, it will be my lunch! Heh heh.
Let me know when and how I am needed ...
I'll be able to stay with her till evening.
Let me know timing so I can be there.
Will block Monday for her ...
Will make myself available.
Does she eat ham or turkey or salad?
Dear SK, got your heartbreaking news. Will go on my knees for you.
Been praying & will continue to pray. Psalm 41:1-3.
Dear SK, the Lord bless you & keep you & comfort you with these words from Isa 26:3-4.

With Christmas looming close and as I reflect on and give thanks for all the wonderful things, I count myself blessed to have been through BSF and for a support group like this. Each one of you are surely doing what the Lord admonished us to do. I am so deeply moved by the love, support and care provided and I know that Sock Kim must be so very touched as well. If each Christian lived our lives like this, surely the world would want to know our Saviour! Thank you for your labour of love and your love for the Lord in ministering to Sock Kim!

Thanks for praying, ps

Improving

My dear friends,

Praise God!
Rec'd an sms from tsk: Dr Koong visited. Lung doing well. Histology results not out yet. Can remove oxygen and lung tubes tomorrow. Now off glucose. Can eat without throwing up already! Can receive visitors tonight.

Her address: SGH ward 56 room 24 bed 1

Thanks for praying, ps

Christmas Eve

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Thanks for praying!

Tsk is feeling better. She managed to take oats for breakfast this morning. Yay!

Do pray for her to eat and drink more, to regain her strength. Please continue to pray for pain relief.

I know many of you wish to visit her. Thank you for such love and concern for tsk. I think she will be ready for visitors tomorrow - Christmas Day! Please try to visit about 12-2pm or 6-8pm, during her meal times. She'd like to take her (beauty) nap in the afternoon.

Thanks for praying, ps

Post Op

1 Thes 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Thank you for praying! Tsk slept quite well last night despite the pain.

This morning, the doctor allowed, and the nurse encouraged her to take porridge and milo. She tried to drink, but could not hold it in. Not yet.

Tsk stabilised, so in the afternoon, she was moved to the general ward. Still, with all her tubes - oxygen, catheters, IV line.

At dinner time, Tsk tried some drink and tried a few (tiny) mouthfuls of porridge. Oh dear, still cannot hold in her intake. And she's beginning to feel weak and hungry.

Dear visitors, please note. Tsk is very thankful that some of you were planning to visit her tomorrow. She is terribly sorry, she doesn't think she would feel well enough to have visitors yet. Please do not come.

Please continue to PRAY:

• for her pain management.
• for the nausea to go away so she can eat and drink, to get stronger and better.

Thank you for praying, ps

Giving thanks

Psalm 118:21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation.

We give thanks:

• the Lord guided Prof Koong & his medical team to perform the operation well
• there was no complication during & after the operation
• the operation was successful, the three nodules in the right lung were removed
• there is some post-operation side-effects (eg numbness, pain)
• whatever the result (malignant or benign), the Lord will grant tsk His strength & peace as she goes through yet another trial

We give thanks!

Out of OT

Col 1:3 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you.

Tsk is out of her 55 minute-operation. She is in very stable condition. The pre and post took a long time. She left the ward about 2.10pm and returned at 7.30pm.

The doctor said that the three nodules were removed, and that the other parts of her lung looked clear.

Tsk is in great pain. Please pray for good pain management.

Thanks for praying, ps

Operation still on

Psalm 139:10 Even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.

How encouraging to know that : God was already waiting for tsk in the operation theatre and He is still holding her hands!

Hello to each and everyone of you. It is about 5.30pm now. Tsk is still in the OT. Please continue to pray for her. After the operation is over, she will be in the high dependency ward.

Thanks for praying, ps

Operation

Finally, Tsk left her bed about 2.10pm to go for her operation.
We trust and pray.

Thanks for praying, ps

Good morning!

Psalm 5:3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Thank you for praying for tsk! She feels at peace!

It is about 8.30am now. Tsk is up already, but not in the OT yet. The operation has been delayed. She is hungry, no food or drink. Yet she has been allowed a snack of milo and biscuits (by the surgeon). We may not know, but our Father knows best.

I will update again when I receive more information.

Thanks for praying, ps

tsk at SGH ward 56 room 24 bed 9

Thank you to the Sunday visitors! Tsk had a good dinner. After the x-ray, she had a wonderful supper. We pray she is sleeping well tonight.

Please note, the operation is about 10am-1pm, tomorrow.

Please remember to pray that :

• the Lord will guide Prof Koong & his medical team to perform this delicate surgery
• there will be no complications during & after the surgery (eg no infection, stroke or bleeding)
• the surgery will be successful in removing the affected areas in the right lung
• there will be no or minimal post-surgery side-effects (eg numbness, pain)
• whatever the result (malignant or benign), the Lord will grant tsk His strength & peace as she goes through yet another trial

Tsk really, really appreciates our thoughtfulness. But, please respect her requests. Please do not come before the surgery, or visit on Mon or Tue.

Thanks for praying, ps

PS takes over

By the time you read this, I would have checked into SGH Ward 56.

I would like to announce that PS is back today as my personal manager. Welcome back, PS!

While I'm warded, PS will update this blog to keep you posted on my progress. Blogging is the preferred mode of communication so there will be no emails during this period. SMS messages will be sent out only for urgent prayer requests. Please read this blog for the latest news. Try not to jam PS's line with emails or smses unless necessary. Yours truly will resume writing when I'm discharged.

May I wish you a God-blessed Christmas & New Year,

thanks for praying,
tsk tsk

life may be unfair but God is good

On this night before I am admitted to SGH tomorrow for a lung surgery, my mind travels back to the events of the last 2 years.

• I discovered I had nose cancer (NPC) in Aug 2006.
• I underwent 8 weeks of radiation treatment in Sep-Oct 2006.
• The MRI scan done in Jan 2007 confirmed the nasopharynx area behind my nose was clear of tumour.
• My first annual CT scan in Sep 2007 showed sub-cm tiny nodules in the right lung.
• A follow-up lung scan in Mar 2008 confirmed 2 nodules in the right lung, "suspicious of metastasis".
• PET scan done in Mar 2008 could not determine if the nodules were malignant.
• My second annual CT scan done in Nov 2008 made the same conclusion, "suspicious of pulmonary metastasis".
• My oncologist referred me to see a lung surgeon.
• On 11 Dec 2008, Dr Koong advised that the nodules should be removed as soon as possible.
• The surgery was fixed on 22 Dec 2008.

In the 2 months between Nov & Dec 2008, there was fear & anxiety within me as I tried to make sense of what was happening. But as I confide my fears & anxieties to the Lord, I begin to feel God's peace & presence within me.

I learned from my oncologist that rarely does NPC spread to the lungs. According to him, the number of such cases so far could be counted with one hand. And one of them has to be me.

Why is life so unfair? I recently read an RBC booklet of the same title, based on the story of Asaph who wrote Psalm 73. Incidentally, one of my favourite verses is Psalm 73:26 - "My flesh & my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart & my portion forever."

Life may be unfair but God is good. God has been my Strength in times of adversity. God has been my Hope when everything seems hopeless. God has been my Peace when my heart is gripped with fear & uncertainty.

Life may be unfair but I will trust my loving Father all the way. This is because I know that God is too wise to make mistakes; God is too good to make me suffer for no reason or purpose.

I pray that it will not be cancer. Even if it is, I will still love the Lord my God with all my heart. Daniel's words came to mind :

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18)

As I lie on the operating table on Monday morning, I know that you will be on your knees praying for me. I know that the Lord will be with me in the operating room. God is our Creator, our Divine Physician, our Healer.

See you all after my surgery,

tsk tsk

tsk's prayer request

Below are some details about the surgery.

Hospital : Singapore General Hospital
Admission date : Sun 21 Dec 2008, 1pm
Operation date : Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8am
Surgeon : Prof Koong HN
Length of surgery : 2-3 hours
Ward : Blk 5, Ward 56
Length of hospitalisation : about 7-8 days
Visiting hours : preferably lunch time & evenings (no visits on Mon, Tue unless necessary)

note : no phone calls, sms is preferred

Please pray that :

• the Lord will guide Prof Koong & his medical team to perform this delicate surgery
• there will be no complications during & after the surgery (eg no infection, stroke or bleeding)
• the surgery will be successful in removing the affected areas in the right lung
• there will be no or minimal post-surgery side-effects (eg numbness, pain)
• whatever the result (malignant or benign), the Lord will grant me His strength & peace as I go through yet another trial
  

thanks for praying,
tsk tsk
hp : 9107-0036

has cancer returned?

It had been an agonising 2 weeks since I received my latest CT scan results on 26 Nov 2008. Has cancer returned? Is the time-bomb in my right lung about to explode?

This is the second time in 2 years the report says, "suspicious of pulmonary metastases". This means cancer is suspected to have spread to the lung. The nodule on the upper lobe of my right lung has increased in size from previous 0.2cm to 0.6cm. There are 2 other smaller nodules on the lower lobe. The report sounded like a second death sentence. I wished it was a mistake. I wished it was all a bad dream. I wished I did not have to relive the agony of cancer.

My oncologist looked worried. He showed me the scanned images on the computer. I saw the 3 nodules. He added cautiously, "we don't know if it is cancer but anything that grows at this rate is likely to be cancer." Dr Wee gave me 4 options to consider. I asked to see a surgical oncologist. He referred me to Prof Koong, the head of surgical oncology at NCC, who specialises in lung cancer.

Prof Koong was on leave, so I was scheduled to see him on the day he returned - 12 Dec 2008. But on Tue, his nurse called to ask me to come a day earlier. I am thankful to PS who took time to be with me. Prof Koong patiently explained the need for surgery & advised that the surgery should be done as soon as possible to prevent further complications. The nodule tissue will be sent for lab tests to determine if it is malignant (cancer). This is a major operation which will take probably 2-3 hours. Post-surgery side-effects include temporary numbness & occasional pain.

Prof Koong gave 2 available dates for surgery - 22 Dec or 19 Jan. We decided on the earlier date although I felt it was too soon. The idea of going for surgery made me very scared. Eight years ago, I underwent a 4-hour surgery to remove a thyroid nodule. I know what it's like to go under the knife. Now I have to go through another one again.

22 Dec is only 10 days away. I will be warded for about a week. This means I will be spending Christmas at SGH. My first Noel in a hospital.

"My flesh and my heart may fail
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:26)

thanks for walking with me through this difficult journey,

tsk tsk