bone scan

I went for my bone scan this morning. After the jab, the nurse told me I had to wait 2 hours before the scan could be done. Since it was such a long wait, I was allowed to go back to office to do some work as long as I returned to the hospital within the 2 hours.

I am actually feeling quite scared what the scan might show. I had a hunch something is just not right with my body; it's either my bone or breast that is in trouble this time. More than a year ago, I also had a hunch that something was not right when my ear began to give me problems. And my hunch turned out to be right. This same nightmare is haunting me again. "What if...........?"

Nobody will understand the anxiety, the fear I'm going through. I'm preparing myself for the worst. Although I have to face it alone, the Lord knows how much I can take, He knows my breaking point and He will not allow me to be stretched beyond what I can endure.

"Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak."
(Psalm 31:9-10)

Those who are still reading this blog are getting fewer & fewer. But I thank you that I still have a place in your heart. Thank you for remembering me. Thank you for praying.

Thank You, Lord, for the pain,
tsk tsk

EBV infection

Ever heard of EBV infection? I heard this term for the first time during the NPC support group meeting yesterday. Oncologist Dr John Low spoke on "Side-Effects of Radiotherapy & Chemotherapy in Nasopharyngeal Cancer (NPC)". Dr Low mentioned in his talk that the causes of NPC are EBV infection, genetic & diet rich in salted fish, meat & veg. I was curious about this EBV thing so I surfed the internet to find out more.

(1) EBV = Epstein-Bar Virus
(2) There is a complex link between EBV infection and NPC. Many studies have found high levels of this virus in the blood of people with NPC.
(3) EBV is known to cause cells in the nasopharynx to become cancerous. Most people infected with EBV develop only infectious mononucleosis, and their immune system is able to recognize and destroy the virus. These patients recover without any long-term problems.
(4) In some cases, however, pieces of viral DNA mix with the DNA of cells in the nasopharynx. When a cell is infected with the virus, the viral DNA may mix with the normal human DNA. EBV DNA is able to instruct the cells of the nasopharynx to divide and grow in an abnormal way.
(5) EBV infection rarely results in NPC. Eating a diet high in salted fish and meat seems to increase the ability of EBV to cause NPC. Studies indicate that foods preserved in this way may undergo changes that produce chemicals that can damage DNA. The damaged DNA alters the cells’ ability to properly regulate growth and replication.

This info on EBV is interesting. I didn't know I had the EB Virus in my blood. I'm grateful that the Lord had helped me to detect it early & to receive treatment early. Dr Low said there are long-term & late side-effects of radiation. Knowing this will help me to be better prepared for the long walk ahead.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

rib pain

These days, when I notice a lump or feel pain in any part of my body, I will somehow become fearful & scared.

In the past few weeks I could feel pain on the rib bones of my upper chest. When I touch the affected area, I am not sure if it is a bone or lump. Can it be bone metastasis? During my ENT appointment this morning, I took the chance to ask the ENT doctor. The doctor said I could have over-exerted my muscles during exercise. But given that I am a cancer survivor, it is better to be on the side of caution. So I am scheduled to go for a bone scan on 23 Jan.

Please pray for the Lord's protection on my health.

"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of Your unfailing love."
(Psalm 6:2-4)

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

Happy birthday to me!

According to western tradition, there are 12 days of Christmas. This period (25Dec-5Jan) is also known as Christmastide. Today is the 12th day of Christmas. It is also my birthday.

I had turned down all who had called or emailed or sms to bring me out to celebrate my birthday. Thank you for remembering my birthday. I'm truly touched by your love. I hope I have not offended or disappointed any of you. As in all previous years, I wanted my birthday to be a quiet day. I prefer to spend the day alone ....... with the Lord.

"For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body."
Psalm 139:13-16

Happy birthday to me!
tsk tsk

hello 2008

A blessed New Year to you!

This is my new year prayer for you :

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
May the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May He send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May He remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
May He give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed."
Psalm 20:1-4

Thank you for being my unseen angels.
Thank you for continuing to walk with me through 2008.

tsk tsk