Chapter 3 begins

Now that RT is over ,,, we continue to PRAY for recuperation, recovery, renewal and restoration. Yet never forgetting to PRAISE and THANK GOD for everything.

Last RT today, yay yippee hooray !!!

At long last, final RT session today.

Thank God for seeing SK through it all.

PS and CG accompanied SK for her RT. Meanwhile, CF and KH entered SK's home to decorate it for SK's home-coming. Many friends also joined in for this special ocassion. Even God had a part to play to keep this event secret from SK. SK did not check her email over the weekend. If she had, she would have found out all about it and it wouldn't have been a surprise.

SK is most thankful to God for the joyous time of worshipping GOD in prayer and singing.

Part Two - The End

BSF Leaders’ Sharing – 28 Oct 2006

16 Aug 2006 was the darkest day of my life. It was the day I learned I had nose cancer. I was dazed. I couldn’t believe it. How could it be? Haven’t I already lost one sister thru cancer? Haven’t I made every effort to read every available book on cancer & nutrition, & followed what the books say? Haven’t I been careful about my diet & avoided food that is said to cause cancer? How then could I have cancer? It just didn’t make sense to me. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I felt so alone & lonely. I was on my knees, crying out my heart to the Lord. I did not question God “Why me?” I prayed, “Lord, what am I going to do? How am I going to walk through this unknown journey? I’m afraid. I’m scared. I do not know what to do but my eyes are on You. I do not understand what is happening to me. But Lord, I know You have a purpose and I will trust You all the way.” That night, the Lord led me to Psalm 73:26 : “My flesh & my heart may fail, but God is the Strength of my heart & my Portion forever.” That verse brought me comfort as I was assured that the battle belonged to God & He would guide me through this journey.

It all started as an innocent ringing tone in my left ear after 2 weeks of swimming lesson. The ringing tone later developed into ear blockage & I lost some hearing in my left ear. Little did I expect the problem to turn out to be so serious, a malignant tumour behind my nose. Thus began the 2-month journey in my battle against cancer. The 33-sessions of radiotherapy (RT) treatment began on 12 Sep, & as at today, I have one last session to go on Mon. As I have nose cancer, the RT is focused on my face & neck, resulting in side effects such as dry mouth, mouth ulcers, thick phlegmy saliva, all of which make eating, drinking & talking difficult. As the ulcers became more painful & unbearable, I could not eat & drink & began to lose weight. I had to be put on the feeding tube to enable me to eat & drink. The pain fromthe ulcers & phlegmy saliva grew more intense with each passing week. Many times I cried to the Lord to take away the pain & suffering but for some unknown reason, the Lord wanted me to go through the pain & suffering of cancer. He said, “My grace is sufficient for you.” The journey was so tough & difficult that there were times I felt like giving up. I was hospitalised twice as the side effects of RT took a heavy toll on me. But through each ordeal, I could sense the presence & testify the goodness of the Lord. He never let me suffer more than what I could bear.

Initially, I had a lot of concerns when I learned that I had to come for RT treatment every weekday for 7 weeks. How am I going to SGH for treatment everyday? Who is going to look after me? But God never deserts His children. I was soon overwhelmed by God’s loving & timely provisions. He sent many angels to minister to my needs. God enabled my 75-year-old mum to come from Msia to look after me full-time. Ai Fong initiated a “Milk Fund” to sponsor my Enercal diet. My co-CL, became my personal manager who coordinated all my needs for prayers, transport, food & supplies. She even initiated a personal blog to provide daily updates on my condition. Many angels came forward to drive me to SGH for treatment, cooked for me, brought me my daily supplies, stayed & looked after me when I was warded in the hospital & even took care of my mum when I was warded. I experienced true Christian love in action. These Godsend angels selflessly sacrificed their time & energy to minister to my needs in various ways. I’m thankful to God for all His provision.

I have a lot more to share but time does not permit me to go on. There are just too many miracles to mention in this short sharing. Although I do not yet know the outcome of my RT treatment, I know that my life is in God’s sovereign hands & I will trust Him all the way. There have been many trials in my life but this has been the most challenging one. But through it all, I have experienced God’s goodness & faithfulness. With God behind me & His arms beneath me, I know God will enable me to face whatever lies ahead of me. I pray that I will be restored totally (RT) by January to be able to come back to BSF, after having been away for the last one month. See you all in January 2007!

Last October Weekend

At last RT sessions are coming to an end. The final RT will be on Monday 30 Oct. PS and Cyndi will accompany SK to SGH. We should be back at SK's home about 9.30am.

RT-32, just 1 more

Thanks to Sarah for taking SK to SGH again. RT-32 today. Just 1 last RT to go. Please PRAY for a smooth weekend of rest and recuperation.

The final RT session will be next Monday ... do PRAY also that the CA cells would be totally destroyed, that SK will recover and be restored.

RT-31, 2 more to go

Thanks to Sarah for taking SK to SGH. RT-31 today. As the doctor said, side effects will get progressively worse. Please continue to PRAY :
- for comfort from pain from ulcers and boils; for pain relief in her mouth, tongue and throat.
- that the thick phlegmy saliva will not thicken further, will not choke SK.
- for SK to receive sufficient nutrition from Novasource, at least 3 packs a day.
- that SK's meal will hold down; she will not throw up (feeding through tube).
- for SK not to be constipated.
- that SK will experience God's loving hands holding her and God's presence surrounding her.

SK's mum went for her medical tests. Waiting for results now. Do PRAY that the results will be good, so that application for her long term visa will be smooth, will be granted.

RT-30

Thank you CF and CG for accompanying SK to hospital for her RT this morning.

And for yesterday, Hari Raya holiday ... thank you KH for picking SK's mum from home to go to the hospital although there was some hiccup with the car "key". Thank you also for sending both SK and her mum home later. SK was discharged from SGH yesterday afternoon.

4 more RTs to go

SK went for her RT this afternoon. After a long wait, she saw Dr Melvin Chua. He checked on her pain and the medication. He is happy with SK's weight, considering her second hospital stay and her meagre intake. SK still has some constipation.

SK may be discharged tomorrow. Can only confirm this after the ward doctor sees her tomorrow morning.

Countdown - 7 days

SK is still in hospital. RT-29 has been scheduled at 3.30pm. Tomorrow is a public holiday, so no RT.

Just one more week to go. The last few RTs scheduled are - RT-30 Wed, RT-31 Thu, RT-32 Fri and RT-33 next Mon.

BTW, Par T date will be pushed back a week to give SK more time to recover. Par T date is Saturday 18 Nov.

5 more RTs

Today
8.23am SK is not sure if she will be discharged today. She seems too dehydrated, the doctor wants to put her on a drip.
10.36am Doctor didn't ask SK to be discharged. She will be put on the drip soon, when the nurses are not too busy.
5.31pm SK is sleeping soundly now. She cannot eat the hospital food. She was drinking the high calorie drink since lunch time until an hour ago. She couldn't drink because her mouth was too painful. SK drinks after taking muccaine (3 times a day), the medicine to numb her throat.
5.51pm Nurse taking temp with ear thermometer 37.5, retake with normal thermometer 36.8
7.14pm Feeding tube was just inserted. Another ordeal. The nurse gave SK Prosure.

Please note: SK is warded at SGH Block 4 Level 8 (Ward 48) Room 20 Bed 6


Yesterday
8.30am RT-27.
2.55pm SK will go for her RT-28 at 4pm. PRAY that her body will be strong to take it. PRAY not to have any unbearable side effects.
4pm RT-28.
Kim and Diana (cooked steamed egg) took SK's mum to SGH. Ai Min brought lunch - mashed cauliflower carrot soup. Ai Fong bought more Novasource and Prosure (complete meal replacement drink). Sarah took SK's mum home.

RT-26 and 7 more to go

Thursday was a day of adventure.
2.30am The MO managed to remove some very hard stool. The nurse will administer fleet enema later to help SK clear soft stool still inside.
7.45am SK managed to pass motion.
9.05am SK went for x-ray to make sure all is clear.
11.05am SK went for RT-26.
4.28pm SK is taking a shower after which she will move to another room.
5.29pm SK is now in SGH Block 4 Level 8 Ward 48 Room 20 Bed 6.

Thanks to Annie and Cyndi who took SK's mum to hospital. Annie also drove her mum home later in the morning. Poi Leng stayed by SK's side practically the whole day.

Tomorrow, Kim and Diana will take SK's mum to visit SK in the morning. SK will take RT-27 at 8.30am and RT-28 at 4.45pm. PS will take SK's mum home later in the evening.

SK will only be discharged from SGH on Saturday morning.

PLEASE PRAY PRAY PRAY : For healing in the mouth, throat and tongue. For healing from stomach cramps and constipation. For pain relief. For the ability to eat and drink without throwing up. For physical and spiritual strength.

THANK YOU !!

RT-26 due today

Waiting for more news about SK ...
RT-26 is due this morning. Annie will drive SK's mum to the hospital with Cyndi.

Yesterday, RT-25 went on as usual. Even more chaotah now, with ulcers in the mouth, throat and tongue. Very, very painful. Eating was such a difficult task. Confirmed that RT will be on twice this Friday, at 8.30am (Kim) and at 4.45pm (PS).

Quick summary of what happened last night:
7.15pm SK had to go to the doctor, she had v v bad constipation. She was given the enema.
9.15pm Sarah visits, only to find SK still in pain.
9.30pm Sarah takes SK to SGH A+E.
10.24pm Doctor is attending to SK.
11.21pm SK is on the drip. She is sleeping in the observation ward now, still waiting for motion to be passed. Poi Leng also at SGH.
12mn SK admitted, Ward 48 Room 9 Bed 1, temporarily in B1 until there is a vacancy in B2.

RT-25

Today was the usual, getting more and more chaotah. New ulcers visited SK's mouth, throat and tongue.

Phew! 8 more to go !!!

It is confirmed. This Fri, SK will have two RTs, at 8.30am and 4.45pm. Drivers, Kim and PS, please take note.

Isa 40:28-31 Eagles and Renewal

The lifespan of an eagle is about 70 years. However, in order to live this long, it must make the toughest decision at 40. At 40, its beak is too long and curvy that it reaches its chest. Its wings, full of long, thickened feathers are too heavy for easy flying. Their claws will start to age, losing their effectiveness and making it hard for them to catch prey.

The eagle is left with 2 choices - do nothing and await its death or go through a painful period of transformation and renewal.

It first trains itself to fly beyond the high mountains, build and live in its nest and cease all flying activities. Then it begins what is called the molting process. It knocks its beak against granite rocks till the beak is completely removed. When a new beak is grown, the eagle will use it to remove all its old claws and wait quietly for new ones to be fully grown. When the new claws are fully grown, the eagle will use them to remove all its feathers, one by one. Five months later, when its new feathers are fully grown, it will soar in the sky again with renewed strength and would be able to live for the next 30 years.

In life, as an individual, in a ministry, even in an organization, sometimes we have to learn to make difficult decisions so as to make room for changes. Changes bring about renewal. And the only way for us to soar again is to let go old ways, old habits, old lives. For as long as we are prepared to surrender to God our old baggage - past glory or shame, past success or failure - be willing to become zero before God, with an empty cup mentality, God will be able to help us rediscover our potential and head towards a renewed perspective in any aspect of our lives.

There is another interesting feature of this molting process. During these four to five months, the eagle cannot hunt for food. Other eagles would drop food to this molting eagle. Invariably it is not the young eagles that drop the food. These are the eagles that have gone through the molting process themselves.

RT-24

Last night, thick phlegmy saliva came back again. It tastes "salty" and it "stinks" ... a couple of new and painful ulcers also appeared. Please PRAY against these unfavourable side effects.

Looks like the oncologist is in a hurry to get all 33 RTs done by Mon 30 Oct. Since this Sat is a holiday and he does not want the RT to be pushed back to Tues 31 Oct, he has asked for the make-up RT to be done on Fri 20 Oct instead. Which means, this Friday, SK may just have to go through double RT, one at 8am and one at 3pm. To be confirmed if this is possible.

Anyway, today SK did RT-24, another 9 more to go.

RT-23

Haiyah, this Sat is Deepavali, no RT. So ... 15 days till the end of RT, last RT day is Tuesday 31 Oct. Another way of counting, just 10 more RTs to go. Yippee!

After 23 rounds of RT what do you expect? Besides getting chaotah in the mouth and throat, besides all the dizziness, giddiness and nausea, taste buds have finally gone hay-wire. Ears can hear better, although there is still a slight ringing sound.

After the last RT, get ready to Par-T tentative date 11.11.

Weekend

Over the weekend, SK has been feeling a little giddy from time to time. Before meals, she takes her medicine which has been quite helpful. For Saturday dinner, she managed to eat mee suah and an half-boiled egg. Even ate AM's special dessert. Praise God that she could hold all of it down. She can take soft food that can be swallowed easily.

Starting tomorrow, RT is back to the 8.40am schedule.
Drivers for this coming week - Mon till Sat - PS, Angie, Chuay Fen, Annie, Kim, Poi Leng. Thank you, ladies!

Thank the Lord for all His providence!

RT-22

Yong Foon brought SK's mum to hospital.
9.00am RT-22 was scheduled.

Poi Leng helped with the discharge and the return home.
3.24pm Home at last and resting.

Ai Min made a special dessert - low sugar beancurd barley agar agar.

Please continue to pray that SK will be able to eat, drink and rest well. Pray also for comfort and relief from pain in the mouth and throat. Pray against phlegm, dizziness and nausea. Thank you for being partners in prayer.

11 RTs more to go.

RT-21

RT-21 was scheduled for 9.30am. SK was wheeled to Blk 2 and back.

Kim and Cyndi picked SK's mum to SGH, while Sarah took her mum out to dinner and sent her home, too.

At first the doctor wanted to discharge SK from the hospital. But SK was still not strong enough. Besides, she also has another RT session the next day. So she will be discharged tomorrow, Saturday. The physiotherapist and social worker also came to see her. Ai Fong brought chawan moshi for SK's lunch and she finished it all up, yay! Yummy! SK had another round of chawan moshi for dinner, too. Yummy, yummy!

Praise God for the food that SK can eat.

12 more to go.

Thursday update

1.35pm Praise the Lord, so far so good! SK taking kuay tiaw soup now. PRAY that she can finish her meal and hold it down well.
5.03pm After all this time in the hospital (since Sat) SK finally could pass some motion.
8.03pm SK managed to finish half her baby food dinner, plus some taohuay that YF bought. Not bad (good), SK is doing very well.
9.34pm Please PRAY for a phlegm-less sleep and another day of eating well, no more vomitting.

SK has RT-20 scheduled for 10.30am.
Please PRAY that her food and drink will hold down well, that she will be nourished, that she will regain her strength. PRAY for comfort and relief, the pain in her mouth and throat can be most unbearable. PRAY for SK to be encouraged.

9.22am Poi Leng reporting live from SGH - Praise God, SK managed to finish the whole bowl of oats and an half-boiled egg. Now sipping milo.
10.39am Annie reporting - Praise God, SK was able to eat her breakfast today. She slept well last night. She seems much better and she is very alert.
10.53am Poi Leng reporting again - SK just wheeled in for her RT.

Last minute change - SK's mum followed Shuli to the airport this morning. Shuli's friend will take SK's mum to the hospital after seeing Shuli off. After work, Yong Foon will take SK's mum home tonight.

RT - 13 more to go

THANK YOU for praying.

RT - 13 left

RT has been scheduled for 10.30am.

Annie and Cyndi will take SK's mum to hospital, 10am. Yong Foon will take SK's mum home, 7.30pm. SK's sister is leaving this afternoon on the 1.55pm flight.

RT - 13 more to go.

RT back on again

Mon and Tue, SK was not strong enough, so RT was off. She is supposed to make up for it, over the coming Saturday (14 Oct) and the following Saturday (21 Oct).

Today SK resumed her RT. It was scheduled for 12pm, but after a 45-min wait her turn finally came.

RT - 14 more to go.

Still no RT

Today was SK's worst day in hospital yet. She threw up a lot, a result of the morphine. The morphine also made her giddy and drowsy.

SK was wheeled over to Blk 2 by trolley for her RT (scheduled at 3pm) but Dr Wee cancelled the RT because of her condition. SK is not well enough. But he said, that the RT must go on this Saturday and the next to make up for the delay.

So the morphine has been stopped, it has been too strong for her.

Please PRAY that SK will be able to eat without throwing up, that her strength will build up quickly.

For those who wish, please visit during visiting hours. About 12nn-2pm and 5-8pm. Block 4 Level 8 (Ward 48) Room 22 Bed 4 (be careful, there are 2 room 22s).

It is still 15 more RT sessions to go ...

RT put on hold

Praises to God, last night (Monday) SK finally drank a cup of milo, her first drink after 5 days (of fasting). Her sticky phlegm has also lessened.

Supposed to have 15 more RTs. SK will not be going for her RT today again. The doctor is still monitoring her BP and temperature. She is still on IV antibiotics and morphine. The oncologist will check on her this morning.

15 more RTs

SK is still in hospital. This morning she did not go for her usual RT session. No RT means her last day of RT will be pushed back. Instead, she remained in her ward/bed. The doctor wants to monitor her BP and temperature, hourly. For her pain, she is on morphine.

Please continue to pray for her mouth and throat - for healing, for pain relief. Pray that God will strengthen her physically and spiritually.

Weekend

Twenty-three days left till the end of RT.

Uh oh, bad news, SK vomitted until her feeding tube was dislodged. She had to make an urgent trip to the hospital.

Update - SK has been warded in SGH, feeding through IV.

Praying that God will sustain and lift SK up in His love and comfort, praying that her vomitting will stop ... Rosalind
In weakness, let Your strength be seen and felt. May SK also sense Your loving Presence and be encouraged ... Angig

Friday and RT-18

Eighteen down, fifteen more to go ... twenty-four days till the end of RT.

After RT this morning, SK went to see Dr M Chua again. He prescribed a stronger dose of anti-vomitting and some diarrhoea medication. Please pray that the medicines will be effective, that SK will be able to hold her "food" down.

Father, we commit SK's "frail" body into Your healing hands ... strengthen her over this weekend in readiness for the coming RT sessions

Night Update

SK was very sick today, in bed all day long. She threw up everything and her body feels very hot.

Please pray for strength and quick recovery, even while the RT treatment goes on. That her body will not be further weakened by the RT. Tomorrow is the last RT for this week. After that, Sat and Sun, she takes a break from RT.

Please pray SK will not throw up anymore, for her stomach to be strong, to be able to hold down her liquid intake.

Please pray that SK's breathing will not be affected by the bad haze.

Praises and Thanks to our Father in heaven.

Half, at last

Seventeen down, sixteen more to go ... twenty-five days till the end of RT.

Thanks to God, we have arrived at the mid-way point of the RT. Please uphold SK in prayer. We continue to pray for SK strength and stamina, relief from pain, peace and understanding, comfort, love and compassion from God.

For a little cheer -
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

RT - 16

Sixteen down, seventeen more to go ... twenty-six days till the end of RT.

We give thanks to God for LP. She lovingly makes special juices and special delivery to SK on Mon, Wed and Fri. Faith in action, all glory and honour to God!

RT - 15

Fifteen down, eighteen more to go ... twenty-seven days till the end of RT.

Today the RT machine broke down ... so everything started late and ended late.

Please pray for pain relief.

Please pray that SK will be comforted, encouraged and uplifted during this difficult time.

Oct 2

Fourteen down, nineteen more to go ... twenty-eight days till the end of RT.

Please pray for relief from the pain in SK's tongue, mouth and throat. The medication manages the pain somewhat but SK still suffers effects of giddiness and nausea. New challenges seem to crop up. Now her mouth is continuously producing thick phlegmy saliva. It is so sticky that it is difficult to swallow it. It makes talking very difficult, too.

Please pray for SK to be able to go through this time of trial and testing ...

New Month ...

We thank God for a new day and a new month. It is now October. Twenty-nine days till the end of RT.

We thank God that SK can now "drink" through her feeding tube.

SK's tongue, mouth and throat are still painful. She takes medication to manage the pain but suffers effects of giddiness and nausea.

Thank you to this week's line up of drivers - PL, SC, CF, YF and PS.