a sudden breathlessness attack

I woke up this morning with a blocked ear. This does happen to my left ear now & then due to factors unknown to me. I've learned to live with it. The ear blockage would normally go off after a while. But this time, it lasted the whole day. It became unbearable as there was echoing & I could not hear properly.

It started to get worse in the afternoon. I was attending a meeting in the office from 2-4pm. But midway through the meeting, I began to feel breathless. My left ear was becoming more blocked. This time, my nose seemed to be blocked too. I found myself having to breathe very hard. I began to feel weak & giddy. I sought excuse to leave the meeting explaining that I was not feeling well & needed to see the doctor immediately.

I rushed to the hospital in a cab. While waiting to be attended to, I quickly sms-ed an urgent prayer request to my contact persons in BSF & DG. Through this prayer chain, I was assured that many would be praying for me. A nurse did an ECG test on me & then wheeled me in. A young female doctor attended to me. She asked a few questions & then went off. At this time, about 4.20pm, I noticed that my ear blockage suddenly disappeared. I found myself able to breathe normally again. I knew it was the power of prayer. I felt so relieved & whispered a prayer of thanksgiving.

The young female doctor cleared me of lung infection after looking at the x-ray. I told the doctor I did ECG, not x-ray. She asked again. I repeated the same answer. But the doctor insisted that the nurse had done an x-ray on me earlier. I was confused. The doctor was not listening. She did not even try to verify my statement.

I was discharged & reached home about 7pm. At 7.40pm, I received a surprise call from the doctor. She inquired how I was, whether I was still having breathing difficulties. I said I was able to breathe much better now. I thought she was such a caring doctor but when she started to apologise, I knew something was wrong. She apologised that there was a mix-up in the x-rays. She asked me again if I had taken xray. I said I had told her a few times I had not taken any x-ray & she had confused me by insisting I had done the x-ray. She said I would need to return to A&E to do an x-ray. As I was too tired to go back now, she arranged for me to go back at 8am the next morning. But before she put down the phone, she repeated for a 2nd time that should I encounter any breathing difficulty during the night, I should come down to A&E immediately as it is open 24 hours a day.

While preparing dinner, I felt no peace. I thought, "What if I suddenly become breathless in the middle of the night?" A voice kept telling me to go back to SGH now....."call Irene". It was then 8pm. I hesitated. But the voice said again, "call Irene". I called Irene Tan. I told Irene about the x-ray mix-up. I was so touched when Irene agreed to drive me to SGH without hesitation. I was so thankful that God already knew about the mix-up & had arranged for Irene to be my angel that night.

It was a different doctor who attended to me this time. Apparently he had been briefed about the "x-ray mix-up" fiasco. He apologised profusely for the mix-up & said that an investigation was under way to find out what went wrong. Thank God for Irene who helped to "fight" for me, saying that my life could have been put to risk by the careless attitude of the other doctor. What if I had collapsed on the way home? How could the doctor not listen to the patient? He said SGH was also very concerned about this matter & would do its best not to repeat the same mistake again.

So I spent the night doing the x-ray & re-doing the ECG test as it seemed that the ECG I did earlier had also gone missing. Probably another mix-up again. Both the x-ray & ECG tests showed no sign of any lung problem. This was all that I needed to see & hear. I knew I would be able to sleep with peace of mind tonight. And I did.

Lord, thank You for sending Irene as my angel tonight. Thank You for watching over me in my coming in & going out.

tsk tsk

the report card

Today I received the report card on the tests I did last week. One year on, is there a recurrence of cancer in the nasopharynx (the area behind the nose)? Is the tumour completely gone? Has the cancer spread to other parts of the body? What will the report card say? I was anxious to know.

Waiting to receive the test results was like waiting to receive your exam results........will the results be good or bad? I had to wait 2 hours because there seemed to be a few new cases of cancer today. The oncologist normally sees new cancer cases first. And each case takes a long time. I know because I had gone through the process last year.

It was finally my turn. Dr Wee was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had gone off for a meeting or lunch. I would normally ask, but today I didn't. His assistance, Dr V Koh attended to me. Dr Koh said overall the report card was good. The good news : there was no evidence of tumour recurrence in the nasopharynx or neck area. The not-so-good news : a tiny nodule was spotted in the right upper lobe of lung. Dr Koh said not to worry about the lung nodule. She would monitor my condition & see in 6 months' time if further tests were required.

I do not know how to react to the report card. On the one hand, I am happy that the tumour is confirmed gone. On the other hand, I am concerned about the tiny nodule found on the lung. What can I do except to continue to trust the Lord. Did not the Lord say "do not worry about your life" in Matthew 7:25? But humanly speaking, I do get anxious if I receive not-so-good news about my health. Won't you? But as God's children, we have the assurance that we will not walk through this journey alone for God has promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Joshua 1:5)

thanks for journeying & praying with me this far,

tsk tsk

ENT check-up

I had my usual 2-monthly ENT check-up today. The doctor did not spot anything unusual except for the old problem of nose congestion & infection. The doctor decided to clean up the inside of my nose, a procedure known as "nose toileting". I find this term rather amusing, don't you? It was quite painful & uncomfortable, about 5-10 minutes of torture. You could see me all tensed up, my hands clasping tightly to the armchair.

In Year 2, the frequency of my ENT consultation will be changed to once every 4 months. In the next visit, the doctor said she would require me to go for a hearing test. My next ENT appointment will be in January 2008.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

CT Scan

I did a CT scan today. It is a must one year after treatment. I started cancer treatment on 12 Sep 2006. It has been one year. How time flies.

This time, I was given a scan from head to abdomen. I suppose this is a standard procedure to confirm that cancer has not spread to other parts of the body. Last time, there was only one scanning machine at NCC. I learned that NCC has bought a new 2nd machine. I was put through this new scanning machine today. The results of the scan will be made known to me when I next see my oncologist on Wed, 26 Sep.

Please continue to uphold me in your prayers, if you are still following my blog. Thanks for being my unseen angel. God knows who you are.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

down memory lane - 912

Today is the twelfth of September. I will always remember this "special" date because it was the day I started my cancer treatment last year. Today is the 1st anniversary of that painful journey. A journey which made me see a new perspective of life. A journey which gave me a taste of God's goodness & faithfulness. A journey which gave me the joy of experiencing God.

12th Sep 2006 was a Tuesday, a BSF class day. My radiation treatment was fixed at 3pm. Angie accompanied me to SGH for the treatment. On arriving there, 2 angels suddenly appeared from behind me while I was registering - PS & Edith. It was a pleasant surprise because I did not expect any BSF angels to turn up on a Tuesday. But they did. It was a great assurance from God that He would not let me walk this journey alone. And as the coming months would show, God always made sure I was never alone. Be it at home or hospital, God would always send me an angel to meet a particular need at a particular time. God saw to everything. I did not need to do anything; God did everything.

After the treatment, Angie drove me to PS's home to rest. At 6pm, we left for our BSF class. PS & I were co-leaders teaching Level 3 students. I thank God for putting us as co-leaders last year for she was to become my pillar of support (PS) in the months to come. I believe it was no coincidence. God saw to everything.

On this same day last year, my youngest sister, Shuli, flew in from LA. She was to spend one month with me before going back to the States. She was truly a Godsend angel to meet my spiritual needs. Shuli was a preacher for more than 10 years in a Chinese-speaking church in KL before she went to further her theological studies in the States. In early 2007, God called her to serve in a new ministry in Taiwan. She will be going to LA end of this month to submit her PhD thesis to Logos Evangelical Seminary. She will be in LA for a month before returning to Taiwan.

Lord, thank You for all the angels You have sent to minister to me in my time of need.

thanks for journeying with me this past year,
tsk tsk

yeh, it's bsf break this week

It's school holiday this week. It's also BSF break. So there is no class tonight, yeh!

It's only one week, so there is not much time to do a lot of things. Last week I had been busy with office meetings & work. Before I knew it, today is already Tues, and what Ruby would say, tomorrow is Wed. This means it's time to get back to the normal routine : complete the adults' questions & prepare the lessons for the children's program.

Okay, okay, time to get back to work (I mean to do all the above).

Lord, thank You for BSF.

tsk tsk

happy birthday, shuli

happy birthday to you .....

selamat hari jadi .....

zhunin shenri kuaile .....

janmadina mubārak ho .....

hello shuli, this is my birthday song to you, sung in 4 languages (ahem, the last one is Hindi.......impressed?).

May you continue to give glory to God with your voice.

"I will sing to the Lord, I will sing; I will make music to the Lord, the God of Israel" (Judges 5:3b, "The Song of Deborah").

God-blessed birthday,
shuqin

down memory lane - one year ago in sep

I was reading my Daily Journal & noted that exactly one year ago, I was busy doing test after test from 21-28 Aug, and going for dental treatment from 29 Aug-4 Sep. That is the beauty of keeping a journal or diary. You get to read your past thoughts or events.

According to my Journal, on 2 Sep last year, I accidentally discovered a lump on the left side of my throat. On 5 Sep, Dr Wee confirmed that it was a lump & sent me off to ENT Centre to do an immediate FNAB (Fine Needle Aspiration Biopsy). At that time, I panicked because I was afraid this would complicate matters. But the biopsy result, which came out just one day before I was due to commence radiation, confirmed the lump was benign.

As I recall that event, my heart goes to PS, Ruby, Lee Lian & Sally Wong who took time off then to be with me. They were angels sent by God to "come alongside me". Sally even "belanja" us to a Penang buffet lunch at King's Hotel. I wonder when I can eat my favourite Penang food again (as my dry mouth is sensitive to spicy food now).

On this same day (5 Sep), Dr Wee also let us have a look at the MRI image which showed clearly the tumour behind the nose. He confirmed then that the tumour measured 24.1mm, considered as Stage 2 growth (classified as TNO category, pronounced as "T-N-zero").

Praise God that all these are now past. I can look back with thanksgiving in my heart for what the Lord had done & look forward in great expectation to the Lord's complete healing.

thanks for journeying with me this past year,
tsk tsk