Wednesday 31 October 2007

oh, my poor thumb

Over the last one month or so, my right thumb & thumbnail have become dry & cracked. It is also quite painful. At first I thought nothing of it. Applying moisturiser, cream or balm does not seem to help. In the last one week or so, I could even feel a sensation going up & down my right arm. At first it happened every morning, but now it could come any time during the day. I don't think I am imagining things. Is this a sign of an internal problem? Is it a radiation-related side-effect?

I posed this question to the liver specialist during my consultation today. Dr Wong agreed that my thumb appeared unusually dry & cracked. She referred me to see a dermatologist. Good thing my appointment to see my onco is next Wed. Dr Wee will be able to advise me.

Lord, please protect my body parts from breaking down due to radiation-related effects.

tsk tsk

one year on --- tests & more tests

It's one year. The CT scan I did in Sep 2007 had revealed some inconclusive results which had to be further verified through tests & more tests in the coming months. Today I had 2 appointments at SGH.

The first appointment was to see the liver specialist. The scan I did in Sep had revealed a cyst in the dome of my liver. Dr Wong said the cyst could have been there for some years. It appeared benign but she suggested that I do a special liver scan for peace of mind. She explained that the scan I did in Sep was a half-body scan so the picture was not that clear. If the liver scan still could not show up the cyst clearly, then I would need to do an ultrasound. The liver scan has been scheduled on 7 Nov & the review on 14 Nov.

The second appointment was to do a blood test. The blood test I did in Sep had shown the thyroid reading to be slightly above average. So my onco had suggested that I do another blood test to further verify the result. The result would be reviewed during my next onco consultation, also on 7 Nov.

Lord, please grant me Your peace amidst the uncertainty of my health.

tsk tsk

Tuesday 30 October 2007

first anniversary

Today is the first anniversary of the end of my radiation. I completed my 33 sessions of IMRT one year ago on 30 Oct 2006. It was a Monday.

I can still remember vividly the surprise party that PS & the gang had organised to celebrate the end of my radiation. PS & Cyndi went with me to SGH. PS drove me home after the treatment. When I reached home, I was greeted by many colourful balloons in my apartment. Who put up the balloons? I was wondering then. I felt that something strange was going on, but did not suspect anything. Mum was in the kitchen but she acted normally. There were no shoes outside the door so it did not arouse my suspicion. But on the way to my bedroom, I got a shock. Coming out of the room one-by-one were the BSF beauties. They had come to celebrate the successful completion of my radiation. I was so touched I wanted to cry.

These were the 9 ladies who made time to be with me : PS, Chuay Fen, Angie, Weng Yin, Cyndi, Kim Ho, Jo Chee, Susan, Shelly. We praised God through songs & prayers. Good thing I had some leftovers of my signature cake, so we ate that as we fellowshiped.

Lord, thank You for being there with me during those painful days.

tsk tsk

Saturday 27 October 2007

what has Romans taught me?

Today was the finale for the BSF study of Romans. It was Sharing Day for leaders. I didn't get to share, but below is the one-minute sharing I had prepared.

"I praise God for enabling me to complete this year in His strength. It was a difficult year. It was difficult because I was recovering from cancer. It was difficult because I had to learn to manage my physical handicap (dry mouth) & cope with the side effects of cancer (dry/phlegmy throat, blocked ear, stuffed nose, inability to eat). It was difficult because teaching Level 1 kids was a new challenge to me. But in each of these difficult & challenging situations, I had experienced God's enablement & grace. All glory be to God.

I thank God for the many lessons I have learned from the book of Romans. Romans 7 reminds me that the Christian life is a constant struggle but we win through Jesus Christ. Romans 8 assures me that all things that have ever happened to me or can possibly happen to me are so ordered & controlled by God that the end result is inevitably & utterly for my good.

If I can summarise in one sentence what the book of Romans has taught me, it is this : God is sovereign; nothing can defeat God's plan & purpose for me."

Lord, thank You for teaching me Your Word in Romans.

tsk tsk

Thursday 25 October 2007

the eye experience

A few months ago, the glass on the right side of my specs dropped onto the floor. It broke to pieces. Good thing it happened at home. After that, I had to wear my hard RGP lenses the whole day as I did not have any spare pair of specs. As if that was not enough trouble, on 3 Oct, I carelessly lost my right RGP lens. Now all that I was left with was my left lens. I became "one-eye Jane" overnight. If I were to lose my left lens too, I would be as good as blind (my myopia is a high 750 deg). This was a highly dangerous position to be in, so off to the optometrist I went the next day.

I have heard of orthokeratology from Fen & thought it might be a good idea to give it a try. Ortho-k is supposed to be a safe alternative to lasik. This is how ortho-k works : you put on specialised contact lenses prior to going to sleep at night and wake up the next morning, remove the lens & see clearly all day, free from specs or contact lenses. Sounds great, right?

After the optometrist discussed with me the pros & cons of ortho-k, I agreed to undergo the test. But first I must make a new pair of specs. The optometrist gave me a pair of disposable contact lenses to wear for the time being. I must wait for my specs to be ready before I could start on the ortho-k test.

On 25 Oct, the one-day ortho-k test began. I put on the ortho special lenses in the morning & returned in the late afternoon for the result. The optometrist was pleased with the result. My eyes improved by 100 deg within the first day of testing. It meant that my eyes were suitable for ortho-k. But now came the hard decision --- do I really want to switch to ortho-k? After discussing thoroughly with the optometrist, I decided to stick to my good, old hard RGP lenses. I prefer to have the flexibility to choose what I want to wear - lenses or specs. But with ortho-k, I will not have that flexibility. I die-die must remember to wear the ortho-k lenses every night or else I will not be able to see clearly the next morning. Honestly, I am not that disciplined. What if I forget or what if my eyes feel tired or what if I don't feel like wearing one night? I can't afford to take this risk as it will affect my work the next morning. I am in stockbroking & need to execute orders for my client first thing in the morning. If I can't see, how to work? Also, I don't like the thought of wearing something in my eyes when I sleep.

I'm glad I went for the ortho-k test. It has given me a better idea how ortho-k works. I'm thankful to the optometrist who shared with me her personal experience as she herself is an ortho-k wearer. I'm thankful she so patiently listened to & answered all my questions & guided me to make the decision that best met my needs.

So now my eye problem is solved. I am sticking to the old faithful hard lenses & specs. It gives me a choice of wearing either one depending on my mood & eye condition.

Lord, thank you for taking care of my eyes.

tsk tsk

Wednesday 24 October 2007

sayonara to bsf 2007.......

Yeh.....yesterday was the last BSF class for this year. From today, there will be no more homework to do, no more lesson to prepare, no more need to burn oil till past midnight on Friday, no more alarm ringing at 4.10am on Saturday.

Next year, the new BSF term will start on 26 Feb. That is a break of 17 weeks! Wow, that is a cool 4-month break, the longest break in my 13 years in BSF. We will be studying the book of Matthew. This will conclude my second cycle in BSF.

I will need to start planning how to use these 17 weeks fruitfully & productively so that no precious time will be wasted. Time gone is time wasted, never to return.

To all BSF leaders who are still faithfully following this blog, thank you for assuring me I'm still in your thoughts & prayers. To those who are leaving BSF, sayonara & hope to see you again......if not on earth, then in heaven. Hope you will continue to read my blog & drop me an encouraging note now & then to tell me how you are getting on.

Lord, bless all these angels you had sent me in my time of illness.

tsk tsk