living each day by God's grace

A bear, a lion and a pig meet.

Bear says : "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest shivers with fear!"

Lion says : "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me!"

Pig says : "Big deal .... I only have to cough, and the entire planet lives in fear!"

Humorous but true. The pig or swine, regarded as the most unclean of all animals, has instilled fear around the world. It has affected the way we carry out our daily activities.

I have two follow-up consultations at the National Cancer Centre this week. One of the appointments was postponed from May to July because of MOH's orange alert for H1N1. Non-emergency cases were moved to a later date to reduce the number of patients coming to NCC each day as cancer patients were believed to be more vulnerable to the H1N1 virus.

The atmosphere at the National Cancer Centre is now very different from before. The clinics are quieter & less crowded as there are less patients & visitors. This translates into shorter queue & faster service. How nice! Everyone is also required to wear a mask. You need to be able to recognise people by their eyes or voices. How fascinating!

So how do I fare this time? All the test results are normal. My lung is my main concern, so the good x-ray result is comforting and reassuring. Medical tests & results do not only tell me where I am but they also indicate to me if I am on track.

Life after cancer brings many new challenges. One common question cancer survivors often ask, "Is there anything I should do to keep cancer from coming back?" In my case, what should I do to prevent cancer from returning to my nose or lung or spreading to other parts of the body? Doctors do not have the answer. So I look for my own answer.

Qigong exercise is one new activity I have picked up. Qigong is said to be a good exercise for cancer survivors as it helps to improve blood circulation & strengthen the immune system against diseases such as cancer. Qigong works on the premise that cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Qigong uses deep diaphragmatic breathing method which is the proper & healthy way of breathing. I never knew there is a correct way of breathing. And I never knew I had not been breathing correctly all my life.

So now I take lessons once a week & make it a daily discipline to practise qigong every morning. Will qigong help to keep my cancer in check? I hope so. If I don't try, I won't know. And even if it doesn't work, it doesn't matter; at least I get to enjoy the exercise. I will do whatever I can possibly do to keep my body & lungs strong & healthy. I will leave to God to do the impossible for only God can.

I'm thankful that each day is a gift of grace from God,
sockkim

goodbye to cancer?

It has been more than 2 months since my lung operation in Dec 2008. What's the latest?

The PET scan I did on Monday has given me an "all-clear" sign, at least for now. The PET scan report, which I collected yesterday, made this conclusion : "No new metastases are seen; no evidence of local recurrence." What this means is there is no sign of cancer in my nose, lungs or other parts of the body. This is indeed good news. Thank You, Lord.

To the uninitiated, PET (Positron Emission Tomography) scan is a diagnostic imaging technique that can help detect suspected cancer, show the effectiveness of cancer treatment & check for recurrence of cancer. But PET scan is not always 100% reliable in detecting cancer. There could be false positives or false negatives. (That was what happened last year when PET scan failed to pick up cancer in my right lung.) Because PET scan is rather expensive (SGH charges $2700 & there is no govt subsidy), doctors usually recommend it only if it is really necessary.

Back to my story ...... so, can I say goodbye to cancer? Is there undetected cancer in my body? Will cancer return? Have I been cured of cancer? No one knows, except God. The only guaranteed assurance I have is that my life is eternally secure in God.

What's next? My oncologist says there is no need for chemotherapy treatment but he will need to monitor me closely. The 1st 5-years are crucial for cancer survivors. I'm now in the half-way mark. According to my surgeon, 20%-30% of patients with metastatic NPC to the lung will not suffer a relapse. Past statistics showed that 70%-80% of patients might suffer a relapse. Statistic is only a number. Whichever side of the statistics I'm on, I know that God is on my side. And God is all I need.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you."
(Psalm 116:7)

thanks for being a part of my life these 2-over years,
sockkim

xin nian meng en!

Happy New Year to you!

Yes, I'm back. I had a wonderful time in Batu Pahat catching up with family & friends. But I'm happy to be back in Singapore too ..... because I cannot stand the water & mosquitoes there! The water in BP has a horrible taste and the mosquitoes are attracted to me. I must say that Singapore has spoilt me with its clean water & clean environment.

I terminated my global roaming service last year as I seldom travel out of Singapore. As a result, I received your sms-es only after I arrived in Singapore on Wed. For 7 years, I had paid $5 pm for something I hardly use. Isn't that silly?

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace
as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

here's wishing you a fruitful year,
tsk tsk

balik kampung for CNY

Today I "balik kampung" to Batu Pahat for Chinese New Year. Each year might be my last new year so I will make an effort to go back to my hometown to have reunion dinner with my parents & siblings. One month after my recent lung surgery, I think I should be fit to travel the 3-hour journey by road.

Xin Nian Meng En!
tsk tsk

cancer recurrence? yes, cancer has spread to my lung

This is the news everyone has been waiting for.....the biopsy results.

Backgound : 3 nodules in right lung were removed on 22 Dec 2008

Bad news : metastatic NPC to lung ("metastatic" means cancer has spread to a region remote from its site of origin. In my case, it means cancer has spread to my right lung from its site of origin, the nose. This is not the same as primary lung cancer. Metastatic cancer is also called secondary cancer.)

Good news : the cancerous nodules have been taken out

Treatment : since the cancerous tumour has been removed, chemotherapy might not be necessary. I will have a better picture when I next see my oncologist in Feb.

Chances of cancer recurrence : there is a chance cancer might return in 70%-80% of cases.

Prayer : praise the Lord the cancerous tumour has been removed. Please pray that I will fall within the 20%-30% , that by the mercy & grace of God cancer will not recur.

"I love the Lord for He heard my voice;
He heard my cry for mercy.
Because He turned His ear to me,
I will call on Him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble & sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord :
"Oh Lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious & righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, He saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you."

(Psalm 116:1-7)

Thank You, Lord for You are so good to me.
Thank you, dear brothers & sisters, for praying.
The journey has not ended. Please uphold me in your prayers.

tsk tsk

happy birthday, tsk

According to western tradition, there are 12 days of Christmas. Jesus was born on the 1st day of Christmas - 25 Dec. I was born on the 12th day of Christmas - 5 Jan. Yes, today is my birthday.

Friends know that I do not like to celebrate birthdays. Just an sms or card will do. I prefer to spend a quiet day with the Lord.

But today, I received some surprises. Yesterday night, a friend brought me a small cake & flowers. Today, 2 friends came to share some brief moments with me. Another friend sent a basket of flowers & gifts by delivery. Some sent greeting cards & sms messages. To all who have remembered the day of my humble birth, I say "Thank You."

Tomorrow is D-Day. It's the day I receive the biopsy results. I hope for the best but am prepared for the worst. On this night before D-Day, I am filled with God's peace & presence as I submit myself to God's sovereign will.

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
for to You I lift up my soul.
Teach me to do Your will.
for You are my God."
(Psalm 143:8,10)

Lord, into Your hands I commit my life,
tsk tsk