Oh no, I've caught the red eye virus!

When mum came down to Singapore on Thur, she also brought with her the red eye virus from Malaysia. She did not tell me earlier, but apparently, my brother had caught the virus from his colleague. By the time she came down on Thur, my nephew had already caught the virus. My mum must have caught the virus too because the next day, she was down with sore eyes.

I was very careful with hygiene the next 2 days, hoping I won't catch the virus. Sore eyes are very contagious & spread through touch. Oh boy, on Sunday, I realise I've caught the virus too. I've never got sore eyes before, so didn't really know what to do. So my immediate reaction was to see the doctor. But I think it was a mistake because the eye lotion the doctor prescribed made my eyes redder & more painful.

So today (Mon, 30 Apr), I decided to go to SGH for a more thorough check on my eyes. The eye specialist said due to my low immunity from cancer, I might take longer to get better than most other people. In normal cases, most people would recover in 3-4 days but for me, I might take 1-2 weeks to recover. "Oh no, I will have to miss BSF!" That was my immediate response.

It is true that my low immunity makes me very vulnerable to viral attacks; so I must take extreme precaution when I go to public places. But how? I can't be hiding at home everyday, right? I need to go to office, to markets, to shopping malls, to use public transport, etc. Any suggestions?

Please pray for my eyes to recover soonest possible.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

good ole friends from BP

Today is Coronation Day in Malaysia. The 13th king is being installed as the new Agung. What has that got to do with me in Singapore? Nothing actually, except that I was expecting 2 visitors from Batu Pahat. Being a public holiday in Malaysia, these 2 friends of mine are taking the opportunity to visit me. And they brought mum with them as well.

Elder Lim is an old-time friend since my school days in Batu Pahat. I got to know his wife Swee Lan, who came from Pontian, when they both were undergoing training at the teachers' college in JB. That was in the 1970's. How nostalgic!

Elder Lim & his wife worship at Gereja Grace Batu Pahat (GGBP), my home church. In those days, the church was just an English congregation within the Chinese-speaking Saving Grace Presbyterian Church. GGBP has since grown up & become independent. Elder Lim was the first & longest-serving elder in GGBP. GGBP in turn also started a Mandarin-speaking congregation which has also become an independent church called "Endian Tang". Swee Lan is a serving deacon at Endian Tang.

So today they are spending the day with me. We had a good time fellowshiping & catching up with each other. Elder Lim's life is always full of adventures. Today is no exception. While driving back to Malaysia, he got lost in Woodlands. Don't know how he got himself from BKE to Woodlands heartland; but as with most adventures, he would always get back on track again, after some exciting & anxious moments!

See you folks in BP one day......to think of it, I've not been back to BP for more than a year.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

How am I doing 6 months after cancer treatment?

It's almost 6 months since I completed my radiation treatment on 30 Oct 2006. In the language of cancer patients, I am a "six-month-old cancer survivor". Compared to 6 months ago, my condition has definitely improved many times except for my weight which has gone down from 47.5kg (22 Jan) to 42.8kg (18 Apr), a drop of 4.7kg or about 10 pounds. My weight remains my biggest challenge & concern.

My saliva is back about 50%, although not sufficient to enable me to eat solid food. But that is a great improvement compared to 6 months ago when I could only take liquid food, Novasource. I am thankful to God for the little improvements each day although it is human to wish that things could move a bit faster! The day I could begin to take chicken rice or beef rendang would indeed be a day for celebration.

Follow-up consultation is a must after cancer treatment. I see the oncologist once every 2 months, ENT specialist once every 3 months & TCM physician once every 2-3 weeks. Cancer treatment may take only 2 months but recovery may take many months.

Last Wed (18 Apr) was my ENT appointment. Lately, I had been experiencing occasional echoing in my left ear. According to Dr Tham, there is some water in the ear & this could have caused the echo. Since this echoing problem does not happen all the time, I will just leave it alone for the time being & learn to live with it, just like I've learned to live with the ringing sound (tinnitus) in my left ear since Jun 2006.

There are permanent side effects of radiation that NPC survivors have to learn to live with. From the talks that I've attended, I learn that late side effects might occur months or even years after radiation. They are :

* oral complications
* ear & eye complications
* swallowing problems
* pituitary problems
* neck stiffness & ache
* numbness of hands, neck, face
* loss of sense of smell
* radiation-induced cancers

Knowing this will not instil fear in me for I know that God is my Creator who "created my inmost being & knit me together in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139:13). My Creator God is the One who knows & understands my body more than even the best doctor. Shouid my body fail to function normally or should there be any defective parts, I trust my Heavenly Father will know what to do. Father knows best. "My flesh & my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26).

I was reading 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 during my Quiet time this morning & Apostle Paul's testimony about the hardships he suffered encouraged me :

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raised the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers."

Yes, the problems I am facing are far beyond my ability to endure so that I despair even of life. Indeed, in my heart, I sometimes feel as if I were sentenced to death. But this happened that I might not rely on myself but on God. God has delivered me from the deadly disease of cancer, and He will deliver me. On Him I have set my hope that He will continue to deliver me, as you, my brothers & sisters in Christ help me by your prayers.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

A visit from a good old friend

A good old friend is in town & I had arranged to meet him for breakfast after my BSF leaders' meeting this morning. He is Rev Dr Lee Ken Ang. Dr Lee was the former principal of Malaysia Bible Seminary. After he returned from his sabbatical leave in the USA, he started a new ministry called Gospel Culture Centre & travels widely all over the world to give talks & lectures. Those who have been to world-renowned evangelist, Dr Stephen Tong's gospel rallies would have spotted Dr Lee as the ever-fluent interpreter. Dr Lee has written 12 books (all in Chinese), 2 of which are in the bestsellers' list. You may read more in his Chinese-based website : www.gospelculturecentre.com.

Dr Lee & I had a wonderful time catching up. It has been some years since we last met. He shared about his ministry work which has been much blessed by the Lord. May the Lord continue to use him as His instrument to bless others.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

I need your prayers, not solutions

There is some progress since my last posting. First, I've not lost anymore weight. I now weigh 44.1kg, a gain of a mere 200g in 3 weeks! My target is 47kg. Second, I can now eat rice but it must go with soup. Eating rice alone is too dry & hard to swallow. Meat & chicken are still no-no as it is hard to bite & chew. Cod or salmon fish, steamed egg, tofu, potatoes, pumpkin are some of the soft dishes I can take with porridge or rice-in-soup.

It has been some 5 months since the end of radiation. Some saliva has returned although not to its pre-cancer level yet. Thus eating solid food is still a problem. Many of us take our saliva for granted but it is our saliva that helps us to bite, chew & swallow food. The enzymes in the saliva help to break down the food to enable us to swallow the food easily. The saliva also helps to protect our teeth from dental decay & our mouth from infection. So the next time you eat, give thanks to God for your saliva.

Some of you have given me suggestions & solutions to help me gain weight & I will like to thank you for your concerns & good intentions. But most of your solutions are not workable as you think you understand the problem but actually you do not. Most of you do not know about a condition known as xerostomia (dry mouth) which is caused by lack of saliva in the mouth. Xerostomia is one of the side-effects of radiation (for NPC cases). I do not expect you to understand my problem unless you are an NPC survivor who has gone through what I am going through. No amount of explanation will help either as I think it's quite diffficult for you to imagine a "no-saliva" situation unless you have suffered from xerostomia before.

What I need most at this time is not solutions but prayers. A listening ear & an assuring "I will remember you in my prayers" will be sufficient. Pray that my salivary glands will be completely healed so that my saliva will return to normal. The road to recovery is a pretty lonely one as I hardly meet anyone along the way who truly understands my daily struggles & problems. So your prayers will lift up my spirit.

thanks for journeying with me.
tsk tsk