farewell papa

It was Monday 26 Dec 2011, 11.40am.

I was on my way back to Singapore. The express coach had turned into the North-South Highway from Ayer Hitam. For the last one hour, I had tried to engage my mind on a game of “sudoku” on my iphone but I simply could not concentrate. My mind kept playing back the events of the last few days while my curious eyes were fixated on a fly which I noticed had been “walking” on the window pane since I boarded the coach an hour ago. I would have normally tried to shoo away or kill a fly if it dared to come near me, but this particular fly was rather strange. It did not disturb me, so I decided to leave it alone.

Just then, my phone rang & I jumped. It was my eldest brother. I froze & my heart began to beat faster. My intuition told me he was bringing me bad news.

“You have to come home again. Dad had just passed away,” my eldest brother said in Hokkien. I replied with a brief “Ok” as my throat suddenly became choked. Tears gradually welled up in my eyes. I glanced at the window pane. The fly had mysteriously disappeared.

My last conversation with papa (16-18 Dec 2011)

I travelled home to Batu Pahat on 16 Dec when I received news that papa was very sick. Papa had been diagnosed with pneumonia. When I first saw papa in the hospital, I had a shock. I almost couldn’t recognise papa. He had lost so much weight. He was all skin & bones. He looked so frail. I tried to hold back my tears. I had never seen papa like this before. Papa had never been seriously ill in all his 82 years. My heart pained to see him in this condition.

I spoke into papa’s ears as he was hard of hearing. I said in Hokkien, “Pa, I’m xxxxx (my pet name). I’ve come back to see you.” Papa looked at me & waved his hand (a sign that he had heard me). Papa had lost his voice. He mumbled some words but mum & I could not figure out what he was saying. I guessed he was trying to say, “I’m happy you’re back!”

On the morning of Sunday 18 Dec 2011, the doctor and nurse came to check on papa. Papa's extremely low blood pressure was of grave concern. Mum asked if papa would recover. I explained dad's condition to mum & told her she had to be mentally prepared.

Mum is a strong woman & a devoted wife. She & papa had been married for 60 years. She tube-fed, washed & cleaned papa everyday without a word of complaint or murmuring despite the heavy toll on her aged body. I also saw mum standing by papa's bedside talking, praying & singing hymns to papa now & then. Mum was truly papa's Godsend angel. We depended on mum to take care of papa. And she was papa's pillar of strength till his last breath.

I walked over to papa's bedside to talk to papa. Words began to flow out from my heart. It turned out to be an unplanned farewell speech to papa. All the while I was talking to papa, I could see that he was responding to me with his eyes wide open as he listened intently to every word I said. It was the first time in my life I spoke with such heartfelt emotions to papa. And I was glad I did. Because I could see that he was visibly moved.

In a mixture of Hokkien & Mandarin, I said, “Pa, thank you for bringing me up. Thank you for giving me an English education without which I would never have been able to go to UK to further my studies." (note : I am the only English-educated “ang-moh” in my family of eight siblings)

Holding back tears, I continued, “Pa, if Jesus comes to bring you home to heaven, please follow Jesus with joy and peace. Don’t worry about us here. I assure you that we know how to take care of your home --- we know how to lock the gate & doors at night, we know how to make sure there is enough water in the house for you have taught us to do all these things (note : papa had been doing these chores all his life; it was his way of caring for the family. Water rationing happens frequently in my hometown and papa always made sure we had enough water to drink & bathe). Don’t worry about mum. I will take good care of mum. I will take good care of this family.”

“Pa, if our Lord Jesus says to you ‘Come home’, please go home with Jesus. Don’t be afraid. Jesus has prepared for you a house in heaven. And you will not be alone in heaven. Ah Ma, Bi-xia (my second sister), Li-chek (papa's brother), they are all in heaven. You will get to see them in heaven. Of course we will all miss you. But we will see you in heaven one day.”

“Pa, I’m taking the 1.30pm coach back to Singapore later. Next Sunday is Christmas Day. I promise I will come back again to see you, to celebrate Christmas with you. Please wait for me. But if you can’t wait, pa, then we'll meet again in heaven.”

At this point, I saw tears streaming down papa’s face. I called for mum & said, “Mummy, papa is shedding tears!” Mum quickly came to dad’s side to wipe away his tears. Mum & I were both fighting back our own tears too. I was very surprised by papa’s response. It was the first time in my life I saw papa shedding tears. And I didn’t know it was to be my last conversation with papa.

My last Christmas with papa (24-26 Dec 2011)
I came back again to see papa on 24 Dec 2011. I reached Batu Pahat after 7pm due to heavy traffic jam at the Second Link. Papa had been discharged from hospital & was recuperating at home. The minute I reached home, I went to papa’s bedside to let him know I was home. I told him that it was the Lord Jesus’ birthday tomorrow. As usual, he waved to show he had heard me.

My two good friends, Elder Lim Aik Leong and Mary Teo, dropped by to visit me a while later. Before the clock struck midnight, we walked to papa’s bedside to sing him a carol. As we started singing “Silent Night, Holy Night” in English, mum and my eldest brother came to join us (the rest of the family was in church for the Christmas service). After we finished singing, Mary told me later that she saw tears coming down papa’s face (I could not see from where I was standing). Elder Lim ended with a prayer. I did not know that was to be my last Christmas with papa.

My last day with papa (26 Dec 2011)
The morning after Christmas Day, papa was coughing quite badly the whole morning. I was taking the 10.30am coach back to Singapore as all afternoon tickets had been sold out. Although I felt reluctant to leave papa like this, I don’t understand why I still left for Singapore that morning. On hindsight, I thought I should have stayed put. Maybe God sent me back to Singapore as He did not want me to see papa pass away. God knew I would not be able to take it well.

So while I was on my way back to Singapore on the morning of 26 Dec 2011, God took papa home at 11.30am. And I returned to Batu Pahat again that same night. Papa’s funeral was held at Saving Grace Church in Batu Pahat on 29 Dec 2011. Papa is now resting in peace at the Batu Pahat Christian cemetery.

Lord, thank You for enabling me to be with papa in his last few days on earth.

Farewell papa ....... we will miss you dearly till we meet again.

from : mum, your beloved children & grandchildren


note : PLEASE PROCEED TO READ THE EULOGY BELOW.

eulogy

(My youngest sister, Shuli, delivered the eulogy in Mandarin at papa’s funeral service on 29 Dec 2011. Here is the translated English version. The Chinese version is below.)

Papa’s early years
Papa was born on 17 Oct 1929 in Sri Medan, a small village on the outskirts of Batu Pahat. My grandparents had migrated to Malaya from Fujian’s Nan-An county in China. Papa was the eldest son. He had one brother & three sisters. Papa’s father died of a critical illness when papa was only twelve years old. After my grandfather’s death, life became hard for the family and my grandmother decided to move the family from Sri Medan to Batu Pahat in search of a better life.

Papa completed only four years of primary education in a Chinese school. After my grandfather died, papa had to stop schooling to support the family. He worked as an apprentice in “Bie-You-Tian” restaurant. At the age of 15, the chef noticed papa's interest in cooking & promoted papa to be his assistant. Five years later, at the age of 20, papa became the restaurant's chef. Papa worked a total of 29 years at “Bie-You-Tian” restaurant.

Papa married mum in 1951. They have 3 sons, 5 daughters and 8 grandchildren.

Papa’s work
In 1970, papa left the employment of “Bie-You-Tian” restaurant & ventured into business with a few friends. They opened a new restaurant called “Xi-Li-Men” and papa worked as the chef. In 1983, papa & his business partners opened a second restaurant called “Suan-Xi-Lou”. A few years later, a third restaurant called “Jin-Xi-Lou” was added to the stable of restaurants. Because of his meticulous & honest character, papa was put in charge of the restaurant’s daily takings & accounts. At age 70, papa finally called it a day & retired from work. After having worked for some 58 years, papa felt it was time to spend his golden years at home with his family.

Papa’s character
Papa was a good & responsible father. He was a man of few words. He was a homely person and showed his love for us in his own quiet ways.

Papa was always concerned for our safety. When we returned to KL or Singapore, papa would always call us to make sure we had reached home safely. And when papa knew we were coming back to Batu Pahat, he would always wait up for us no matter how late it was. Papa was always the last person to retire for the night as he would make his rounds around the house, making sure the gate & doors were locked and everyone was safe and sound.

Because of his humble beginnings, papa was a very thrifty man. Papa worked hard for the family & spent his hard-earned money to meet the needs of the family. He had never spent a single cent on himself. Papa was very independent & preferred to go around town on his humble bicycle rather than to be driven. Papa cycled to work, to church, to the bank, to pay the utility & telecom bills, to everywhere. Papa & his mini-bike were a familiar sight in Batu Pahat. It was only in the later part of his life, when papa’s legs became weaker, that papa had to reluctantly give up his bicycle and passed on his day-to-day responsibilities to us.

Papa’s salvation
After my second sister, Bi-xia, died of cancer in 1988, papa & mum both received the Lord Jesus as their personal Saviour and Lord. My parents were baptised in 1989. Praise the Lord that by 1992, our whole family became Christians, including my then 89-year-old Ah Ma. Ah Ma went home to the Lord in 1997, at a ripe old age of 93.

Papa’s last Christmas
On Christmas Eve this year, my third sister’s friends, Elder Aik Leong & Teo Tiam, came to my home to celebrate Christmas with papa. Together with mum & my elder brother, they sang “Silent Night, Holy Night” to papa. Papa was so touched that tears streamed down his face. We did not know that was to be papa’s last Christmas with us.

I would like to end with a letter that papa left behind for us.

Letter from Papa

My dear beloved,

I see countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, be happy for me, the ones I hold so dear,
For I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,
For it’s beyond description hearing the angels sing.

I’m sending you special gifts from my Heavenly Father above :
I send you each fond memories, and my undying love.
Love is the gift more precious than pure gold;
It was the most important theme in the stories Jesus told.

I know how much you miss me. I feel the pain inside your heart,
But I’m not so very far away. We really aren’t apart.
Don’t weep for me, dear ones, for I’m happy here.
See, Jesus invited me to Heaven for Christmastime this year.

Please love each other dearly, as our Heavenly Father says to do,
For there’s no other way to count the blessigs that He has in store for you.
So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away your tears.
Be glad for me ……. because I’m with Jesus Christ this year!

from,
your dear papa
25 Dec 2011


________________________________________________________________________

家父張明亮的生平述史

家父張明亮弟兄，祖藉福建省南安縣，1929年10月17日生於柔佛州鐵山 (Sri Medan)。當他十二歲時，父親因重病離開他。因日本時期戰爭之故，與母親及弟妹遷居峇株吧轄。於1951年，與林氏家二女兒林連珠結為夫妻，育有三男五女。

他的工作
曾在Sri Medan華小受四年的教育。於1941年，十二歲那年在 “別有天餐廳” 當學徒，賺取生活費來養活家人。因他的好學精神，十五歲時就當了廚師助手。於1970年，二十歲就當 “別有天餐廳” 當主廚。他在 “別有天餐廳” 共做了29年之久。1970年，與一些朋友們合作開了 “喜臨門餐廳”。十多年後，1983年，又與一些朋友合股開了一間 “雙禧樓”。因他的誠實見證，他當了 “雙禧樓”的財政職位。又經過數年之後，又跟同樣的股東開了另一間 “金禧樓”。於70歲，正式退休，在家享福，與孫子們同樂，直到2011年6月左右，他的身體逐漸虛弱，直到安返天家。

他的格性
他是一位很顧家，文靜，細心的一位好父親。在廚房，幫忙料理家務事，並關心家裡的大小事。他很關心兒女們的出入平安，如：當兒女們回去新加坡之後，他總是三番四次的打電話Call我們：『你們抵達了沒有？高速公路有沒有塞車等等？』然後，他的心就放下，他是一位很負責任的好父親。因此，當兒女的我們，我們常有一個習慣，就是每當我們回到自己的住處時，我們作兒女的也會自動的打電話回家給父親抱平安，免得他擔心。這就是他對兒女所表達的愛。

從年輕到老，他非常誠實與節儉，把省下來的錢，用在兒女們的教育及需要上。從年輕到老，他常騎腳踏車出入工作。從年輕到老，不論還水電費，或去銀行，都由他一人去負責，直到退休為止。

他的得救
於1988年，當二姐佩霞安息後，我爸爸媽媽信了主。一年後，我父親於1989年受洗歸入主耶穌的名下，於1992年全家歸主。感謝主，他89歲的母親後來也信了主，並一年後，她受了洗。 1997年安息主懷。

他最後的聖誕節
最後，於今年12/24晚上，三姐與二位好朋友(媽媽與大哥，Elder Aik Leong & Teo Tiam) 在半夜在我們父親面前 “報佳音” 唱 “平安夜” ，父親聽了流下眼淚，最後，Aik Leong 長老為他作一個禱告。我們也想不到，這是我父親最後一次過聖誕節。

～謝謝～

這是來自我父親的一封信

致我所親愛的家人，

我在天上看下來，
看見許多聖誕樹閃閃發亮，
好漂亮哦，今年我跟耶穌過聖誕節，
親愛的，您們要為我高興。

我在天上也聽到，
你們唱很多聖誕詩歌，
可是你們的聲音比不上天上的聖誕詩班的歌聲,
天使的歌聲好聽到無法形容。

我在天上寄給你很特別的禮物，
我送給你最好的回憶和我不死的愛，
愛的禮物大過一切的精金，
這是耶穌曾在地上常教導我們 ~ 愛的真理。

我知道你們多麼想念我，我可以感覺到你們心裡的痛，
可是我與你們不遠，親愛的，你們不要為我而哭，
因為我在這裡很開心，
你看，耶穌邀請我到天堂與祂一起慶祝今年的聖誕節，

親愛的，你們應當彼此相愛，這是天父所說的，
因為神有很多恩典與祝福，要賜給你們，
所以，你們要過一個沒有眼淚的聖誕節，
你們要為我高興，因為我現在與耶穌同在。

親愛的父親 親筆
2011.12.25