16 Aug 2006 was the darkest day of my life. It was the day I learned I had nose cancer. I was dazed. I couldn’t believe it. How could it be? Haven’t I already lost one sister thru cancer? Haven’t I made every effort to read every available book on cancer & nutrition, & followed what the books say? Haven’t I been careful about my diet & avoided food that is said to cause cancer? How then could I have cancer? It just didn’t make sense to me. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I felt so alone & lonely. I was on my knees, crying out my heart to the Lord. I did not question God “Why me?” I prayed, “Lord, what am I going to do? How am I going to walk through this unknown journey? I’m afraid. I’m scared. I do not know what to do but my eyes are on You. I do not understand what is happening to me. But Lord, I know You have a purpose and I will trust You all the way.” That night, the Lord led me to Psalm 73:26 : “My flesh & my heart may fail, but God is the Strength of my heart & my Portion forever.” That verse brought me comfort as I was assured that the battle belonged to God & He would guide me through this journey.
It all started as an innocent ringing tone in my left ear after 2 weeks of swimming lesson. The ringing tone later developed into ear blockage & I lost some hearing in my left ear. Little did I expect the problem to turn out to be so serious, a malignant tumour behind my nose. Thus began the 2-month journey in my battle against cancer. The 33-sessions of radiotherapy (RT) treatment began on 12 Sep, & as at today, I have one last session to go on Mon. As I have nose cancer, the RT is focused on my face & neck, resulting in side effects such as dry mouth, mouth ulcers, thick phlegmy saliva, all of which make eating, drinking & talking difficult. As the ulcers became more painful & unbearable, I could not eat & drink & began to lose weight. I had to be put on the feeding tube to enable me to eat & drink. The pain fromthe ulcers & phlegmy saliva grew more intense with each passing week. Many times I cried to the Lord to take away the pain & suffering but for some unknown reason, the Lord wanted me to go through the pain & suffering of cancer. He said, “My grace is sufficient for you.” The journey was so tough & difficult that there were times I felt like giving up. I was hospitalised twice as the side effects of RT took a heavy toll on me. But through each ordeal, I could sense the presence & testify the goodness of the Lord. He never let me suffer more than what I could bear.
Initially, I had a lot of concerns when I learned that I had to come for RT treatment every weekday for 7 weeks. How am I going to SGH for treatment everyday? Who is going to look after me? But God never deserts His children. I was soon overwhelmed by God’s loving & timely provisions. He sent many angels to minister to my needs. God enabled my 75-year-old mum to come from Msia to look after me full-time. Ai Fong initiated a “Milk Fund” to sponsor my Enercal diet. My co-CL, became my personal manager who coordinated all my needs for prayers, transport, food & supplies. She even initiated a personal blog to provide daily updates on my condition. Many angels came forward to drive me to SGH for treatment, cooked for me, brought me my daily supplies, stayed & looked after me when I was warded in the hospital & even took care of my mum when I was warded. I experienced true Christian love in action. These Godsend angels selflessly sacrificed their time & energy to minister to my needs in various ways. I’m thankful to God for all His provision.
I have a lot more to share but time does not permit me to go on. There are just too many miracles to mention in this short sharing. Although I do not yet know the outcome of my RT treatment, I know that my life is in God’s sovereign hands & I will trust Him all the way. There have been many trials in my life but this has been the most challenging one. But through it all, I have experienced God’s goodness & faithfulness. With God behind me & His arms beneath me, I know God will enable me to face whatever lies ahead of me. I pray that I will be restored totally (RT) by January to be able to come back to BSF, after having been away for the last one month. See you all in January 2007!
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