I had my two-monthly consultation with my oncologist on Monday. Yes, I lost 3.6kg in 2 months. I couldn't believe my eyes & weighed again a second time. There it was, the figures said so clearly : 43.9 kg. The weighing machine at the National Cancer Centre should be reliably accurate, right? I weighed 47.5kg just 2 months ago. I know I had lost weight, but so much? I had not been weighing myself because the weighing scale at home broke down -- maybe I was so thin the scale couldn't move!
Jokes aside, I'm genuinely concerned. I've been losing weight since Chinese New Year. I knew I was losing weight when my skirts, pants & shorts don't seem to fit me as well as before. But now things seem to look more hopeful as I'm able to take hokkien porridge with soft dishes; but looks like they are not sufficient in replenishing my lost weight. Somehow, porridge does not give me a "full" feeling like rice. Very often, I will feel hungry again not long after I've eaten. I need to take 3-5 meals a day depending on my activities during the day. Actually, I'm more a rice or "png" person & I really miss eating rice. How I dream of the day when I can start eating rice again........
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Thursday, 15 March 2007
One week school break
The long-awaited school break was here at last. I had been waiting for this break not only because I needed a "breather" after teaching in the BSF School program for the last 6 weeks, but also because I needed to do some "spring-cleaning". I moved into my new home late 2005 but before I could even complete unpacking all my stuff, I suffered from tinnitus on my left ear which later developed into ear blockage in July 2006. And in Aug 2006, the biopsy result confirmed a tumour behind my nose which apparently caused the ear blockage problem. Thus began my 3-month battle against nose cancer.
How time flies. Nine months have passed since my ear problem first surfaced. And I am recovering so well that I felt I was fit & strong enough to finish my uncompleted job. Spring-cleaning is never a pleasant task. To me, the most difficult thing to do is to throw away things that have "sentimental value". I kept reminding myself I must learn to live with less, I must learn to "let go", I must learn to keep only the essentials for lack of storage space. Yes, there are many things I still need to learn. Earthly things will come & go; but the things of God will last forever. I must focus on doing things that have eternal value -- such as walking with God, spending time with God, and serving God. One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Genesis 5:22 - "Enoch walked with God 300 years". I pray that I too will walk with God all the days of my life.
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
How time flies. Nine months have passed since my ear problem first surfaced. And I am recovering so well that I felt I was fit & strong enough to finish my uncompleted job. Spring-cleaning is never a pleasant task. To me, the most difficult thing to do is to throw away things that have "sentimental value". I kept reminding myself I must learn to live with less, I must learn to "let go", I must learn to keep only the essentials for lack of storage space. Yes, there are many things I still need to learn. Earthly things will come & go; but the things of God will last forever. I must focus on doing things that have eternal value -- such as walking with God, spending time with God, and serving God. One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Genesis 5:22 - "Enoch walked with God 300 years". I pray that I too will walk with God all the days of my life.
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
Sunday, 11 March 2007
Finally, I am able to eat soft food
I know, I know......this blog has been silent for a long time, right?
I was partly busy and partly........well, feeling low. You know, that kind of feeling when you just don't feel like doing anything at all? When I finally sat down to reflect on my feelings, I found out that deep inside me, I was getting frustrated with food. I had been losing weight the past few weeks as I was getting quite "sick" of Novasource. I have been drinking Novasource "milk" since Oct 2006. Instead of the recommended 3 packets a day, I was drinking only 1 or 1.5 packets a day. And I was not taking other food as I was still unable to eat. So, how not to lose weight, right?
The Lord must have seen my frustrations & silent tears as I struggled with what to eat each day. I seemed to have little choice as every food I tried stuck on my palate for lack of saliva. I cried in desperation. I had begun to "vomit" at the sight & smell of Novasource. What should I do? There were many times I felt so hungry I thought I might die of starvation. I didn't talk about my struggle with anyone as I presumed no one would understand.
The Lord finally came to my rescue. On Fri 2 Mar, I was so hungry I told myself I must try to eat congee or porridge again. It didn't work previously, but somehow that day, I was surprised I was able to swallow the congee without the rice sticking to my palate. I finished the bowl of congee with tears in my eyes. It was my first proper meal since Sep 2006! I was overwhelmed by the Lord's love for me. As in previous times, God would intervene when I reached my crisis point. He is most powerful when I am weakest. Thank You, Lord for Your faithfulness!
One week later, I tried taking hokkien porridge ("beh"/"moi") with soft dishes like tofu, steamed egg & potatoes. I was so happy I was able to take that too! I could feel that my mouth is improving; it's getting less dry than before. I have been brewing & drinking TCM herbs for the last 2 months. I think my mouth is beginning to gain back some saliva. The other good news is I am putting on some weight!
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
I was partly busy and partly........well, feeling low. You know, that kind of feeling when you just don't feel like doing anything at all? When I finally sat down to reflect on my feelings, I found out that deep inside me, I was getting frustrated with food. I had been losing weight the past few weeks as I was getting quite "sick" of Novasource. I have been drinking Novasource "milk" since Oct 2006. Instead of the recommended 3 packets a day, I was drinking only 1 or 1.5 packets a day. And I was not taking other food as I was still unable to eat. So, how not to lose weight, right?
The Lord must have seen my frustrations & silent tears as I struggled with what to eat each day. I seemed to have little choice as every food I tried stuck on my palate for lack of saliva. I cried in desperation. I had begun to "vomit" at the sight & smell of Novasource. What should I do? There were many times I felt so hungry I thought I might die of starvation. I didn't talk about my struggle with anyone as I presumed no one would understand.
The Lord finally came to my rescue. On Fri 2 Mar, I was so hungry I told myself I must try to eat congee or porridge again. It didn't work previously, but somehow that day, I was surprised I was able to swallow the congee without the rice sticking to my palate. I finished the bowl of congee with tears in my eyes. It was my first proper meal since Sep 2006! I was overwhelmed by the Lord's love for me. As in previous times, God would intervene when I reached my crisis point. He is most powerful when I am weakest. Thank You, Lord for Your faithfulness!
One week later, I tried taking hokkien porridge ("beh"/"moi") with soft dishes like tofu, steamed egg & potatoes. I was so happy I was able to take that too! I could feel that my mouth is improving; it's getting less dry than before. I have been brewing & drinking TCM herbs for the last 2 months. I think my mouth is beginning to gain back some saliva. The other good news is I am putting on some weight!
thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk
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