balik kampung - testimony at GGBP

Wow, it's home at last!

Yes, today I made my first trip home to my hometown, Batu Pahat. It was a nostalgic trip home as I had not been home since March 2006. I followed the ARPC team there as Elder Wong Foo Mun was giving a sermon at GGBP this morning. Wah Kam, a fellow BPian, drove us there.

Originally, the purpose of the trip home was to see my family. But it turned out I was asked to give my personal testimony at my home church, Gereja Grace Batu Pahat (GGBP) during the Sunday service. GGBP had been supporting me in prayers throughout my illness. It is only right & timely that GGBP gets to personally hear my testimony now that I am well enough to be there in person. After all, the Lord has done so much for me & deserves to be praised.

After the service, I visited my family for a short while before joining the rest for lunch hosted by Elder Lim AL at his newly-built mansion. We made our way home to Singapore after lunch. It was a tiring but worthwhile trip.

Below is the testimony I gave at GGBP.

My Testimony

Good morning, brothers & sisters.

Some of you might not know me. My name is Sock Kim. If you were in this church in the 1970’s, you would most likely know me. I was born & bred in Batu Pahat. Gereja Grace has always been very close to my heart because it was in this church that I first came to know Jesus Christ as my Saviour. I grew up & was baptised in this church. I transferred my church membership to ARPC 3 years ago. BP is still my home although I live & work in Singapore. My parents & most of my siblings are still in BP. I come home a few times a year, but I’ve not been home for more than a year due to my illness. I’m happy to be home again. Many of you have been praying for me when you heard about my illness. Thank you for journeying along with me in my battle against cancer. I stand before you this morning to testify that the Lord in His grace has healed me. All praise & glory be to God!

16 Aug 2006 was the darkest day of my life. It was the day I learned I had nose cancer. When the doctor told me the bad news, I was shocked because I had always been in good health & had never suffered from sinus or nose bleeding problems. I couldn’t believe it. How could it be? I tried to understand what was happening but nothing seemed to make sense. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I felt so lonely. I knelt before the Lord & cried, “Lord, I don’t understand what is happening. I feel so scared. I don’t know what to do but my eyes are on You.” God led me to read Psalm 73:26 that night - “My flesh & my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart & my portion forever.” This verse brought me comfort as I was assured that God is my Strength & would guide me through this unknown journey.

My problem started in July 2006 as an innocent ringing tone in my left ear after just 2 weeks of swimming lessons. Little did I expect my ear problem to become so serious. A biopsy later confirmed a malignant tumour behind my nose. I am one person who is always afraid of water so I don’t understand what made me decide to take up swimming lesson last year. On hindsight, had I not taken up swimming, the tumour might still not be discovered today. I thank the Lord for alerting me ahead of time.

I began my 33 sessions of radiotherapy treatment in Sep 2006. It was a long & difficult journey. Many times when the going got tough, when the pain became unbearable, I pleaded with the Lord to take away the suffering. But God’s Word came to me, “My grace is sufficient for you.” There were times when I felt so weak & helpless I wanted to give up the treatment. But I am thankful the Lord stood by me & gave me His grace & strength to endure the pain & suffering.

When I first learned I had cancer, I had several concerns about how I was going to cope with my illness. Who was going to look after me? What about the medical bills? Everything happened so fast I simply had no time, & did not have the frame of mind, to sit down to think or plan. But God was faithful & good. He saw to my every need. I did not need to do anything. God did everything. God gave me what I call the 4-F’s : Faith, Family, Friends & Finance.

(1) God gave me Faith. The faith to believe that He could do the impossible.
(2) God gave me Family. My loved ones rallied around me. My mum came down to Singapore to look after me for 5 months. God even made it possible for mum to be granted a 3-year social visit permit to Singapore.
(3) God gave me Friends. Angels came to minister to my needs. These Godsend angels took turns to drive me to the hospital for my daily treatment. They cooked & delivered food to my home. They took care of me when I was warded in the hospital. One angel became my personal manager. She coordinated all my needs for prayer, transport & food, & posted them on a blog she created to keep everyone updated on my condition.
(4) God gave me Finance, the money to pay all my medical bills. It’s amazing how God settled all my medical bills in such unexpected ways. He is indeed Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider.

It’s now 9 months after my cancer treatment. I praise God I’m recovering well. I am thankful that through this personal crisis, I got to taste God’s faithfulness & goodness, & experience God’s presence & power in my life. I might not understand why God has allowed me to suffer from cancer but I know that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Rom 8:28). I know that God in His sovereign will has a purpose in everything He does.

I am thankful to God for giving me a new lease of life. I am thankful to God that I can be alive today to see all of you. Cancer has affected & changed the way I live my life. It has brought an element of uncertainty into my life as I learn to live with the side effects of radiation each day. But no matter how uncertain my life is, I am certain of one thing, that God is sovereign & He is in control of my life.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

nose infection

I had my two-monthly ENT consultation this morning. Dr V Tay attended to me. She told me I had nose infection & prescribed Oxazoline nasal drop & Co-amoxiclav, an antibiotic. I was reminded to be vigilant in washing my nose with a nasal pump at least twice a day for the rest of my life to avoid nose infection. This is a daily routine I dislike as I do not like the feel of water running through my nostrils & down my throat. It takes a lot of adjusting to. For a person who is not a water-lover, it's a procedure I don't look forward to doing each day. But now it looks like I have no choice if I don't wish my nasal passage to suffer from congestion & infection problems.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

BPians met for lunch

A good, old friend is in town. Brother Kock Hong was a pastor for many years in Malaysia, Singapore & the States. He did his PhD in the States & is now an associate professor of Marital & Family Therapy at Bethel Seminary San Diego. He is on a teaching trip to Malaysia & Singapore before returning to the States on Wed.

Wah Kam, Fong Yin & I met up with Kock Hong over lunch. All of us are fellow BPians. WK & FY were KH's former classmates & they had not met for some 30 years or so. As for me, how did I get to know KH? It was during my Youth Fellowship days at Saving Grace Church (as it was known then before it changed its name to Gereja Grace BP). As the then secretary of YF, I frequently invited KH to speak at our YF meetings. That was the start of our many years of friendship.

Ask any BPian, the chances are they are very passionate about their hometown. Batu Pahat is a small but vibrant town on the west coast of Johor. It used to be a quiet, sleepy town with no shopping malls, few cars & lots of bicycles during my growing-up years. In those days, almost everyone owned a bicycle as it was the only mode of transport. Today, almost every home, rich or poor, owns at least one car. No one cycles anymore. And mega shopping malls now spring up all over the town to compete for shoppers. The town is booming & the population is also growing. Batu Pahat is the 2nd largest town in the state of Johor, after Johor Bahru. And the town is affectionately known as BP by Johoreans.

Ask any Singaporean who has heard of Batu Pahat & their immediate response is usually this, "Batu Pahat is a town of talents!" Yes, BP has gained that reputation over the years. BP is known for producing doctors. There are many of them in Singapore. It was in BP that UMNO was founded in 1946. And BP produced the 3rd Prime Minister of Malaysia - Datuk Hussein Onn (his father Onn Jaafar was the founder of UMNO).

Back to my story, I am happy to have met Kock Hong today. It has been umpteen years since we last met. As one grows older, one begins to appreciate old friendships. So my advice to one & all : value your relationships with family & friends. I thank God for giving me family & friends. They are the ones who stood by me during my recent crisis.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

down memory lane - how the problem began

Almost one year has passed since that dreadful day. From today, I will take a walk down memory lane to trace the events which led to my discovery of nose cancer.

About this time last year, my left ear began to show some problems. It started with an innocent ringing tone. This never happened before & I became concerned. At first, I attributed it to water entering my nose accidentally during my swimming lessons which I started taking up since 23 Jun 2006. On 17 Jul 2006, I stopped my swimming lesson because my left ear seemed to be getting worse. The ringing sound was getting louder & my left ear became blocked which affected my hearing.

What did I do about the ear problem? Wait for "Next Change" ..... akan datang ......

thanks for being so patient,
tsk tsk

hooray......I'm now 44kg!

It's common nowadays to hear people lament, "Aiyah, I'm so heavy. How I wished I could lose weight!" It seems most people have trouble losing weight. I seem to belong to the "fortunate" few who can eat & eat but never put on weight! For me, putting on weight is a great challenge. It's more difficult than studying for an exam!

Before I had cancer, my normal weight was around 46-47kg. But on the week before I commenced radiotherapy, I ate & ate until I gained 4kg to 50kg, on the wise advice of my oncologist as I was deemed to be too thin. Weight does play an important part when your body has to fight against a great enemy called cancer. You will then need all the ammunition to win the battle.

I now weigh 44kg, a gain of 2kg since May. I credit it to my better appetite & eating. For the past one month, I was able to eat more solid food such as rice & meat. I think meat (chicken, pork, beef) helps me to put on weight. Some people advise against taking meat which is believed to be cancer-causing. But then last time I seldom took meat but I still ended up with cancer.......so? I don't believe in this theory anymore. As what most doctors would say, "Eat everything in moderation."

My objective now is to put back the weight I have lost, so I will eat anything that will help me to gain weight. The problem lies with my mouth -- my mouth is the one which decides if I can eat or not. My target is 47kg.......which means I have 3kg more to go.

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk

back to school

The 5 weeks of BSF break flew by in a twinkle of an eye. It was a good break but I wished it could be longer! I still have a few things in my "To Do" list left undone. This has to wait because for now, it is back to school.

BSF 2nd term begins tonight. This week is Week 17 (15 more to go). I have been a CL (Children's Leader) for 4 years but this year has been the most challenging year for me. This is because, besides having to take the youngest class (aged 7 & 8), I am still struggling with the many side effects of radiation, esp dry mouth.

Many of you might not know that dry mouth not only makes eating a difficult task, but it also makes talking a real struggle. Whenever I talk, I will need to either sip water or spray "Bioteen mouthwash" to wet my mouth because talking dries up my mouth very fast. My mouth often feels like a "desert" after just a few sentences. But the amazing thing is when I teach at the BSF School program, I can talk without sipping water or spraying Bioteen. And when I teach, I will completely forget about my dry mouth. Believe it or not, this happens only during those 2 hours on Tuesday nights. I always have faith that God will never abandon those who are His. I praise God for allowing this handicap in my life so that I can experience His power & presence. Dry mouth has become a "thorn in my flesh" but I thank the Lord His grace is sufficient for me (see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

thanks for journeying with me,
tsk tsk